Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
post sbc.
I think post means after. maybe it means before? not sure. but i mean it to mean after.
SBC:
i think it was 12 or 10 hour drive? closer to 1o hours. we slept at a hotel and got to the convention center about 3pm on monday... and i roamed around for 3 hours looking like a loser. and then andy and josh came :)...
i lied and said i was going into 11. i should have just stayed in my own group because i later learned that there was jjalsengeen guys in my real group. :(.
i rode roller coasters and i wasn't as terrified as i thought i would be... although they weren't as big as normal roller coasters were.
as predicted by my mom and brother, nothing happened. :/. i took the news better than i thought i would. at first, i was kind of startled. because after waiting for so long, and it finally happening... before i went, i prayed that i would handle the news well, whatever the outcome was. only cried a little. :).
i'm not really sure what to write about in this blog post...
i'm so out of it... still a bit in shock. :(. i was just so ready for it. not to mention all those hours i wasted >_<. my dad wants me to go to boarding school. which i'm all for. you see, the boarding school is in korea and it was created so that they don't have to send students to america for homestay since it's so expensive. instead, they send american people to korea? or something. and they teach on an american curriculum and all... i asked him why and he said: then i can go to korea a lot! -_-. lol my dad... but my mom vetoed. so that was the end of that. i take after my dad in a lot of things and being stubborn and headstrong is not an exception. they did a skit at the convention and presented it to the parents. all the times i watched it, it made me cry. but then when they showed it to the adults, they were like, LAUGHING. it made me mad -_-. i turned brown. the last time i tanned like this was 2+years ago. people are going to think that i'm filipino went to creation museum? i don't like museums. i learned 4 new games. i liked david tauler's sermon about the deserts. :). no retreat high this time. but i'm getting used to this absence of them. i haven't been "high" in 2 years. not sure if this is good or bad. because it means that i'm not going up and down. so it's either i'm always up or always down... o_O? i think that i'm always setting the expectations for myself too high. and i'm constantly not meeting them. and so i'm always discouraged and always putting myself down about those things. but it's weird things i keep raising the bar in. because if i rose the bar for everything, i would be a perfect person. which i'm so far from -_-. so rambly. but i'm tired. and today was my first day of summer gym. and i'm so sore from 6flags. D: the whole car ride back, i was sleeping :). not sleeping the last night was so fun. lol. not sleeping is like an alternative to being high. :D. and then we played rat screw and it was so weird... like, cheating. LOL. so funny... blah. and now here i am. i think i kind of grew up in this retreat. but not in ways that you would think. like, i didn't mature from the sermons or the talks or w/e. and it's so little and so subtle that only i notice it because i didn't mature outwardly(?) like it wasn't something that affects others. it's not something that affects my grades, school, family, anything. it was more so something that affected only me. after the "news" broke in, during the service, the verse that kept running through my head was proverbs 16:9. We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
one thing i love to do is plan. i can spend hours and hours just making lists and planning. replanning. thinking. ahhhhh... for me, it's fun. even for sbc. i think i spent like 2-4 hours just thinking about it. and i made lists for what i would bring. pictures for what i would wear. i mapped out what time we would leave. when we would arrive. what clothes i would wear on what day. etc. such a waste of time...
omgpop gave me 100 coins for signing in today. yay! ... -_-. what the heck is omgpop coins
-______-.
i think i'm done my, being "overwhelmed" lololol. second retreat/convention of not "liking" anyone after it. YAY FOR MATURITY!! :).
i think im not grounded anymore. my mom didn't say anything when i went on computer. o_0?
now i have to go look for the cheapest ti83 plus calculator so i can get my report card. although i'm terrified of getting it back. D:
goodbye. i shall be posting videos on facebook.
not many pictures this time :/
the pool smelled like poop. D:
SBC:
i think it was 12 or 10 hour drive? closer to 1o hours. we slept at a hotel and got to the convention center about 3pm on monday... and i roamed around for 3 hours looking like a loser. and then andy and josh came :)...
i lied and said i was going into 11. i should have just stayed in my own group because i later learned that there was jjalsengeen guys in my real group. :(.
i rode roller coasters and i wasn't as terrified as i thought i would be... although they weren't as big as normal roller coasters were.
as predicted by my mom and brother, nothing happened. :/. i took the news better than i thought i would. at first, i was kind of startled. because after waiting for so long, and it finally happening... before i went, i prayed that i would handle the news well, whatever the outcome was. only cried a little. :).
i'm not really sure what to write about in this blog post...
i'm so out of it... still a bit in shock. :(. i was just so ready for it. not to mention all those hours i wasted >_<. my dad wants me to go to boarding school. which i'm all for. you see, the boarding school is in korea and it was created so that they don't have to send students to america for homestay since it's so expensive. instead, they send american people to korea? or something. and they teach on an american curriculum and all... i asked him why and he said: then i can go to korea a lot! -_-. lol my dad... but my mom vetoed. so that was the end of that. i take after my dad in a lot of things and being stubborn and headstrong is not an exception. they did a skit at the convention and presented it to the parents. all the times i watched it, it made me cry. but then when they showed it to the adults, they were like, LAUGHING. it made me mad -_-. i turned brown. the last time i tanned like this was 2+years ago. people are going to think that i'm filipino went to creation museum? i don't like museums. i learned 4 new games. i liked david tauler's sermon about the deserts. :). no retreat high this time. but i'm getting used to this absence of them. i haven't been "high" in 2 years. not sure if this is good or bad. because it means that i'm not going up and down. so it's either i'm always up or always down... o_O? i think that i'm always setting the expectations for myself too high. and i'm constantly not meeting them. and so i'm always discouraged and always putting myself down about those things. but it's weird things i keep raising the bar in. because if i rose the bar for everything, i would be a perfect person. which i'm so far from -_-. so rambly. but i'm tired. and today was my first day of summer gym. and i'm so sore from 6flags. D: the whole car ride back, i was sleeping :). not sleeping the last night was so fun. lol. not sleeping is like an alternative to being high. :D. and then we played rat screw and it was so weird... like, cheating. LOL. so funny... blah. and now here i am. i think i kind of grew up in this retreat. but not in ways that you would think. like, i didn't mature from the sermons or the talks or w/e. and it's so little and so subtle that only i notice it because i didn't mature outwardly(?) like it wasn't something that affects others. it's not something that affects my grades, school, family, anything. it was more so something that affected only me. after the "news" broke in, during the service, the verse that kept running through my head was proverbs 16:9. We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.
one thing i love to do is plan. i can spend hours and hours just making lists and planning. replanning. thinking. ahhhhh... for me, it's fun. even for sbc. i think i spent like 2-4 hours just thinking about it. and i made lists for what i would bring. pictures for what i would wear. i mapped out what time we would leave. when we would arrive. what clothes i would wear on what day. etc. such a waste of time...
omgpop gave me 100 coins for signing in today. yay! ... -_-. what the heck is omgpop coins
-______-.
i think i'm done my, being "overwhelmed" lololol. second retreat/convention of not "liking" anyone after it. YAY FOR MATURITY!! :).
i think im not grounded anymore. my mom didn't say anything when i went on computer. o_0?
now i have to go look for the cheapest ti83 plus calculator so i can get my report card. although i'm terrified of getting it back. D:
goodbye. i shall be posting videos on facebook.
not many pictures this time :/
the pool smelled like poop. D:
Friday, June 19, 2009
hello hello.
every time i think about posting, i always say to myself, "this time, it's going to be structured. it's going to make sense." and it never does. -_-. so just to give you a heads up, this just might be the rambliest post ever. k? i only have like 50 minutes T_T;; so i'll give you a recap of my past 2 weeks.
i'm still grounded. but today, i did sulguhjee, put the dishes away, cleaned my room, dusted my room, and vacuumed my room, cleaned upstairs bathroom, cleaned downstairs bathroom, took out all the garbage, and cleaned the garage. so i can go on the computer for one hour! yay! -_-.
these past two weeks:
-there was a blind bird in my garage that kept running into the car. D: so sad.
-i finished reading Job and Malachi. but malachi is like 4 chapters long -_-.
-i wrote ben SEVEN pages front and back and joe, TEN pages. T_T;;
-JOE!! i got my first headshot!! LOL. i did acupuncture twice. yesterday, i got two needles in my head, two in my eyes, one on my pinky, one on my thumb, three on my arm, one on the bottom of my foot (INSANE pain T_T), two on my right leg, one on my left leg, and about 5 or 6 on my stomach... T_T I HAVE A LAZY EYE?!!?!!!!!!!? nobody tells me anything... ewwwwwwwwww... but apparently the needles in my eye fixed it... so i can't even see it. so for all i know, they could all be lying to me.
- i went to ben's house twice... T_T. three hour drive... that means i was in the car for 12 hours. T_____________________T;;
-also to joe (:D): HOW DO YOU KNOW ME SO WELL?? hahah ;). so i went to the library and got like... let's say 15 books. 12/15 were christian. so far, i read 3 books: 2 manga and 1 retarded novel. i didn't read any of the christian ones yet... hehe. well, i started don't waste your life (piper) but... SO BORING!! im on page 55 or so... T_T;;. BUT. i started reading 'when i don't desire God' (also by piper -_-). i started it like 4 months ago but i stopped. but anyways, im on chapter 6 and i only skipped one chapter :D!. but that book is so... blahh... it's not so boring but it's a bit scary for me. like... if we're COMMANDED to desire God and to find joy in him... and i'm not doing that... like... I'm only happy w/him when something good happens...? and you can't do that kind of stuff by yourself. holy spirit right? so then my holy spirit is broken? lol jk. but it's a gift from God that I don't have... but one that i need... confusing and scary... ALSO, like, even the "first and greatest commandment"... love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength. blah. i don't think i do that to THAT extent... which also scares me... BLAH MOLLAH. -_-.
- the point above made me realize a few things... before when i was going through my "spiritual blahblah" <- andy's words lol. it was like... i couldn't "feel" God? and now, nothing's really changed... it's just i'm not really... "hungering"? so like... my desire for God is now gone... so what if before, God was so close to me. like, right inbetween my eyes? he was so close that i couldn't see him. and now... idk -_-. but now i'm thinking how it was better back then than it was now... OH THE IRONY -___________-. because back then, all i did was think about getting out...
-there was also the stupid fly that wouldn't leave me alone... it kept running into the mirror while i was brushing my teeth -_-
- i heard this on the radio today. i like it. joe, you know how i was talking about that kind of stuff before?
i'm still grounded. but today, i did sulguhjee, put the dishes away, cleaned my room, dusted my room, and vacuumed my room, cleaned upstairs bathroom, cleaned downstairs bathroom, took out all the garbage, and cleaned the garage. so i can go on the computer for one hour! yay! -_-.
these past two weeks:
-there was a blind bird in my garage that kept running into the car. D: so sad.
-i finished reading Job and Malachi. but malachi is like 4 chapters long -_-.
-i wrote ben SEVEN pages front and back and joe, TEN pages. T_T;;
-JOE!! i got my first headshot!! LOL. i did acupuncture twice. yesterday, i got two needles in my head, two in my eyes, one on my pinky, one on my thumb, three on my arm, one on the bottom of my foot (INSANE pain T_T), two on my right leg, one on my left leg, and about 5 or 6 on my stomach... T_T I HAVE A LAZY EYE?!!?!!!!!!!? nobody tells me anything... ewwwwwwwwww... but apparently the needles in my eye fixed it... so i can't even see it. so for all i know, they could all be lying to me.
- i went to ben's house twice... T_T. three hour drive... that means i was in the car for 12 hours. T_____________________T;;
-also to joe (:D): HOW DO YOU KNOW ME SO WELL?? hahah ;). so i went to the library and got like... let's say 15 books. 12/15 were christian. so far, i read 3 books: 2 manga and 1 retarded novel. i didn't read any of the christian ones yet... hehe. well, i started don't waste your life (piper) but... SO BORING!! im on page 55 or so... T_T;;. BUT. i started reading 'when i don't desire God' (also by piper -_-). i started it like 4 months ago but i stopped. but anyways, im on chapter 6 and i only skipped one chapter :D!. but that book is so... blahh... it's not so boring but it's a bit scary for me. like... if we're COMMANDED to desire God and to find joy in him... and i'm not doing that... like... I'm only happy w/him when something good happens...? and you can't do that kind of stuff by yourself. holy spirit right? so then my holy spirit is broken? lol jk. but it's a gift from God that I don't have... but one that i need... confusing and scary... ALSO, like, even the "first and greatest commandment"... love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength. blah. i don't think i do that to THAT extent... which also scares me... BLAH MOLLAH. -_-.
- the point above made me realize a few things... before when i was going through my "spiritual blahblah" <- andy's words lol. it was like... i couldn't "feel" God? and now, nothing's really changed... it's just i'm not really... "hungering"? so like... my desire for God is now gone... so what if before, God was so close to me. like, right inbetween my eyes? he was so close that i couldn't see him. and now... idk -_-. but now i'm thinking how it was better back then than it was now... OH THE IRONY -___________-. because back then, all i did was think about getting out...
-there was also the stupid fly that wouldn't leave me alone... it kept running into the mirror while i was brushing my teeth -_-
- i heard this on the radio today. i like it. joe, you know how i was talking about that kind of stuff before?
Sometimes I fear maybe I'm not chosen
You've hardened my heart like Pharaoh
That would explain why life is so hard for me
And I am sad Esau hated
Crying against what's fated
Saying father, please, is there any left for me
Cast out my doubts, please prove me wrong
'Cause these DEMONS can be so headstrong
Make my walls fall, please prove me wrong
'Cause this resentment's been building
Burn them up with your fire so strong
If you can before I bail, please prove me wrong
I fear maybe this is all just a game
Our friends and our families all play too
Harness the young and give some comfort to the old
Don't let my doubts prove true
Draw me close and hold me near to you
Keep me still until the day you
You've hardened my heart like Pharaoh
That would explain why life is so hard for me
And I am sad Esau hated
Crying against what's fated
Saying father, please, is there any left for me
Cast out my doubts, please prove me wrong
'Cause these DEMONS can be so headstrong
Make my walls fall, please prove me wrong
'Cause this resentment's been building
Burn them up with your fire so strong
If you can before I bail, please prove me wrong
I fear maybe this is all just a game
Our friends and our families all play too
Harness the young and give some comfort to the old
Don't let my doubts prove true
Draw me close and hold me near to you
Keep me still until the day you
-sbc is twooooo days away... MY FATE!! oh noes... i think that whatever happens, i'm going to cry either way -_-. OH. i've been crying a lot lately. i haven't been eating that much either. i get like, sudden hits of like, emoness... i got that today. i was so depressed all of a sudden and i started crying. what's wrong with me -_-.
-ah. my hour is coming to an end. i'll write more after MY FATE is decided D:
-ah. my hour is coming to an end. i'll write more after MY FATE is decided D:
Monday, June 8, 2009
I'm grounded. no phone. -_-.
angi. send me your number by email: jshalom.kim@gmail.com
and we shall discuss friday and even if it's going to happen...
my mommy FLIPPED.
i have to write about yesterday and our DKBC incident -_-
too many of those...
angi. send me your number by email: jshalom.kim@gmail.com
and we shall discuss friday and even if it's going to happen...
my mommy FLIPPED.
i have to write about yesterday and our DKBC incident -_-
too many of those...
Saturday, June 6, 2009
my mommy left me to fend for myself. >0<
She's still mad at me so she left for shimbang and didn't leave me any food. SO, I'm in the process of
cooking rice... for the FIRST TIME EVER!! haha it's so sad... i THINK it's almost done... but I don't really know how long it's supposed cooked... and I wasn't sure how much I was supposed to put in... or how much water... >____<. and i didn't use rice cooker... It looks like poop... seriously... I put too much of the purple-ish looking rice in it and it's like...ewww... OH hahaha. and then I put an egg in. LOLOLOL. I was curious as to how it would taste... :D:D:D. and so it's like poop with yellowish/whitish specks in it... ewwwwww. EW it smells so bad because earlier i accidentally spilled water on the stove and i didn't wipe it up so now underneath the pot, there's a BIG BLACK thing... burnt spot? idk. I didn't know it was going to do that... -_-... how long is this supposed to take? 'cause it seems like foreverrr... WAIT!! is it going to be like... really hard on the bottom of the pot???!?!?!!! what's that thing called... when you put bohreechah in it... blah... brain fart... i hate that stuff... D: but now i'm going to scrub it out the pot... NO!! or does that only happen in the black thingies?? idk...... it's "done" now. LOL IT SMELLS LIKE CRAP!!! HOW CAN I EAT THIS?!?!! >0< onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimcKTDcYsroCJ0Nw4nKH7Mwvocs0rwYT38LnpMkQ8l4KNTTUU_fEhMArM-Yvt0DdmiO9aZITKMMbJBI9zw-zdNIAs8L5FxU919e7WpudzsWcL3-lb6SGUPqeNNfldsKO5uKslDRRp8hyphenhyphen0/s1600-h/IMG_3101.JPG">
m now eating cheese sticks that some lady gave to us... blah. so unhealthy... I cleaned it all up to the best of my ability... >_<. and i did sulguhjee 'cause my mom is going to come home soon... and now all the cheese sticks are cold and hard. they look like rubber -_-. today is a mess. and now i just wasted an hour... I COULD HAVE BEEN DONE WITH MY HISTORY STUDY GUIDE BY NOW!! D:<<<<<<<<<<<<<
uhm... i don't reall know what's going on with these pictures... idk how to move them right -_-. stupid blog.
OC tomorrow. :D. sand castle building contest!! haha... but i don't know if i should go or not because of EXAM WEEEEEEEEEEK! D:!!! should I study instead?? but like, i don't think i would even get much done if i stayed home... IDK. i just don't want to do bad because my grades are already low as it is and this will drag it down even more... D:D:D:D:D:!!!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Month:June; Week:1
Wednesday03;
I'm going to try and post like this now. So that way, instead of posting a bunch of little pointless posts, it'll be one HUGE pointless post!! -_-;;.
---
I did another quiz kind of thing for your jobs. Like the 'what career would best suit me' kind of thing. I keep getting the SAME answers... like lawyer, surgeon, physician, social worker, teacher, and something having to do with psychology... >_<. My parents still think I should try lawyer but I don't really get why... They don't want me to be a kind of lawyer that handles small personal stuff like divorce lawyer and other small things like that. They're thinking along the lines of international law, I think... But... Wouldn't there be really small job opportunities for that? And I hate planes. I don't want to travel so much and when I have a family, I wouldn't want to be so far away... :/.
---
My QT is on hold for the time being. I keep making too many excuses for myself. >_<. So I'm going to wait till school ends (7 DAYS!! (9 real days)) to start up again. That way, I'll have no excuses. :). I'm in the process of making a list of things for me to accomplish. Most of it is reading though. :/. I can't think of anything fun and productive -_-. But I went to the library and got a CRAPLOAD of christian books. haha... and 2 manga books. I didn't know the korean drama, 'boys over flowers' was a manga book... o_0? but I don't have KBS on my tv. so I can't watch it. -_-.
---
I want a dongseng. :(:(:(:(. I wantwantwanttttt.
I also want sims 3. But I would like a dongseng more. :D.
[edit THURSDAY!]
I want school to be over so soon but i don't want to take exams D:
i remember something ravi zacharias said a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGG time ago. :). it was something like, there's no point in ripping someone's nose off and then giving them a nose... I think I do that a LOT. need to work on that... blahhh...
---
my dad is campaigning. -______________-;; SBC is so political...
I'm going to try and post like this now. So that way, instead of posting a bunch of little pointless posts, it'll be one HUGE pointless post!! -_-;;.
---
I did another quiz kind of thing for your jobs. Like the 'what career would best suit me' kind of thing. I keep getting the SAME answers... like lawyer, surgeon, physician, social worker, teacher, and something having to do with psychology... >_<. My parents still think I should try lawyer but I don't really get why... They don't want me to be a kind of lawyer that handles small personal stuff like divorce lawyer and other small things like that. They're thinking along the lines of international law, I think... But... Wouldn't there be really small job opportunities for that? And I hate planes. I don't want to travel so much and when I have a family, I wouldn't want to be so far away... :/.
---
My QT is on hold for the time being. I keep making too many excuses for myself. >_<. So I'm going to wait till school ends (7 DAYS!! (9 real days)) to start up again. That way, I'll have no excuses. :). I'm in the process of making a list of things for me to accomplish. Most of it is reading though. :/. I can't think of anything fun and productive -_-. But I went to the library and got a CRAPLOAD of christian books. haha... and 2 manga books. I didn't know the korean drama, 'boys over flowers' was a manga book... o_0? but I don't have KBS on my tv. so I can't watch it. -_-.
---
I want a dongseng. :(:(:(:(. I wantwantwanttttt.
I also want sims 3. But I would like a dongseng more. :D.
[edit THURSDAY!]
I want school to be over so soon but i don't want to take exams D:
i remember something ravi zacharias said a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGG time ago. :). it was something like, there's no point in ripping someone's nose off and then giving them a nose... I think I do that a LOT. need to work on that... blahhh...
---
my dad is campaigning. -______________-;; SBC is so political...
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Gloria's blog post.
LOL. i love kids. :D.
ahhhhh i want like 328095734094820934812893754 million kids. :D... lol sike.
Today I played hide-in-go-seek with Gloria. She said she would count to 10 and I should hide but then I made her count to 20. And then I grabbed jasmine and ran to the sanctuary and I hid... and waited... and waited.. and then she never came... >_____<. and so I went out to look for her and she was in the parking lot and I asked her why she never came to find me and she was like... I don't feel like it anymore... -___- lol i want herrr.
---
haha i have like a bajillion ringtones now. just ask and i'll send :D.
two more weeks left of school... and last three days are half days... AHHHH. can't waitt... even though i'm not going to be doing anything special, just the fact that i'll be out of school is MORE than enough. :)... now i just need to stop going on computer so i don't be couch potato and i'll be fine :). brother says i need to find hobby... hmmmmmmmm... SUGGESTIONS? i shall make a list of things i want to accomplish this summer... yesyesyes... :D.
my brother has food poisoning... haha... :/
ahhhhh i want like 328095734094820934812893754 million kids. :D... lol sike.
Today I played hide-in-go-seek with Gloria. She said she would count to 10 and I should hide but then I made her count to 20. And then I grabbed jasmine and ran to the sanctuary and I hid... and waited... and waited.. and then she never came... >_____<. and so I went out to look for her and she was in the parking lot and I asked her why she never came to find me and she was like... I don't feel like it anymore... -___- lol i want herrr.
---
haha i have like a bajillion ringtones now. just ask and i'll send :D.
two more weeks left of school... and last three days are half days... AHHHH. can't waitt... even though i'm not going to be doing anything special, just the fact that i'll be out of school is MORE than enough. :)... now i just need to stop going on computer so i don't be couch potato and i'll be fine :). brother says i need to find hobby... hmmmmmmmm... SUGGESTIONS? i shall make a list of things i want to accomplish this summer... yesyesyes... :D.
my brother has food poisoning... haha... :/
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