So in Latin 1, we're picking names for ourselves. Everyone is looking off of a list and picking ones that sound funny. lolol. but i want to be DIFFERENT. (; puahaha. I want my name to be christian-ly ahhaha :D and well thought out. (:
here are the girl/uni-sex names:
Deilla; worshiper of God.
Dominica; Belonging to the Lord
Amadis; Love of God
Osma; God's servant
Ronia; my joy is the Lord
osma... or amadis... hmm... :D
i like this one but it's a guys... -_-;;
elias; the Lord is my God. it sounds pretty lolol. LOL. fabio means bean farmer and claudia means lame. hehe. mariah means bitter... but also, God is my teacher... what the... how do the two...? -_-;; im going to give you guys latin nicknames :D. yay!
LOL WHAT THE...
joseph in hebrew means "he will enlarge" o_0? but then when i look up joe, it comes out "the Lord is God"
and andy in greek means "man" or "warrior" ... -____-;;
... i looked mine up, jehovah-shalom: sal-shalom means prince of peace and shalom means well being; peace in hebrew... both names are guy names... >_____<
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joe! pick one: amandus, dom, adriel, vernon, elias... uh... idk. maybe i'll just call you barnabas. (:
andy. i picked one already. but you'd get mad. :D so i'll find another one. lolol.
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i read Luke for like an HOUR and i only read five more chapters... the gospels are so repetitive -___-;;
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AHHHH. why do we do the things we do? is it that hard to let your gaurd down? sacrifice your pride and everything to gain something better? gahhhh. if only i knew the words to say... GAH. GOD WHY DID YOU MAKE ME HAVE SUCH A DIFFICULT TIME WITH WORDS? >____<. i fail to see how this is beneficial. but then again, i am merely a claypot being shaped by its potter. hehe. YAY. good job right? i forget where that's from... -____-;;
[edit] i name joe bogdi or bogdan. pick one! :D
and andy, you are dom.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
gahwee.
lol is that korean or english? how come american people have no idea what you're talking about when i say that? >_<
what's the whole point to it?
i think once before i had it but idk if it's gahwee. i always thought it was cause i accidentally left my fan on. but APPARENTLY, http://www.snopes.com/medical/freakish/fandeath.asp heheh i love how they say "south koreans" ... because it was my mom that told me that. LOLLLLLL... but. like. i woke up and i couldnt move or talk... but i didn't see or hear anything.. LOL. it just scared the crap out of me. and then eventually, my body started to 'loosen' up.? lol. but like. if that's not gahwee, what's the point of it? i don't understand... o_0?
hehe. i posted the same amount of posts in this ONE MONTH as the whole entire LAST YEAR. haha . (:
what's the whole point to it?
i think once before i had it but idk if it's gahwee. i always thought it was cause i accidentally left my fan on. but APPARENTLY, http://www.snopes.com/medical/freakish/fandeath.asp heheh i love how they say "south koreans" ... because it was my mom that told me that. LOLLLLLL... but. like. i woke up and i couldnt move or talk... but i didn't see or hear anything.. LOL. it just scared the crap out of me. and then eventually, my body started to 'loosen' up.? lol. but like. if that's not gahwee, what's the point of it? i don't understand... o_0?
hehe. i posted the same amount of posts in this ONE MONTH as the whole entire LAST YEAR. haha . (:
ehehe...
me:ugh. lag. LAGGGGG. AHHHHH.
brother: use neighbor's internet.
her: hey shalom send me a thingiy to so we can play bomberman
me: LOL jasmine, go to sleep.
her: neverrrrrrrrrrr-_-
me: NO. im not giving it to you. i need to practice and then get better. THEN, i shall challenge you and defeat you once in for all... MUAHAHA.
h: PHS like you can beats meeeeeeeeeee
m: LOL WHATTTTTTT? TRASH TALKING? FROM JASMINE? ouch. >_<
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:05:55): i ate five chickens
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:06:50): DANG
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:06:55): you mean
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:07:00): 5 chicken particals or
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:07:05): 5 chickens?
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:08:39): particals?
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:08:40): o_0?
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:09:23): pieces?
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:09:27): body parts?
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:09:35): YEAH GRACE,
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:09:50): BECAUSE IT'S SO REALISTIC THAT I WOULD EAT FIVE WHOLE CHICKEN BODIES
ugh its andy (오후 6:15:35): I love you too
ugh its andy (오후 6:33:16): JERK
ugh its andy (오후 6:33:53): NOOB.
ugh its andy (오후 6:34:20): i hate you
ugh its andy (오후 7:02:47): i love you<33
ugh its andy (오후 7:02:49): 사랑해
ugh its andy (오후 7:10:25): OMPIJ
ugh its andy (오후 7:10:27): I HATE YOU
ugh its andy (오후 7:10:28): STUPID
ugh its andy (오후 7:15:41): I really missed you
LameGuest 05561: JERK
ANDYCHO (Guest): I hate you guys
ugh its andy (오후 8:56:03): I don't llike you
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:48:39): sounds like
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:48:44): something from joe obba haha
DDONGSANGxP (오후 8:48:51): LOL
DDONGSANGxP (오후 8:48:52): really?
DDONGSANGxP (오후 8:48:57): o_0?
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:48:58): mhm^^
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:48:59): hahahaha
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:49:03): i guess his "joeness"
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:49:05): is rubbing off on u
LOLLLL. ahhahah. i love internet's way of connecting people <3
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apparently, new years resolutions have an 88% failure rate. how do they come up with that percentage? i have no idea. but i wouldn't doubt that it was very high... hmm... with me? eh. lol i kind of stopped with the whole memorizing verses thing but i'm still working to read the bible! except... i've only read four chapters this week...
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0213/1409; lock-in.
021409; snowboarding/ski trip! (only lame people ski).
WANNAWANNAWANNA COME? yeahyeahyeah! :D
-->
WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE?i wanna talktalktalk (:
brother: use neighbor's internet.
her: hey shalom send me a thingiy to so we can play bomberman
me: LOL jasmine, go to sleep.
her: neverrrrrrrrrrr-_-
me: NO. im not giving it to you. i need to practice and then get better. THEN, i shall challenge you and defeat you once in for all... MUAHAHA.
h: PHS like you can beats meeeeeeeeeee
m: LOL WHATTTTTTT? TRASH TALKING? FROM JASMINE? ouch. >_<
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:05:55): i ate five chickens
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:06:50): DANG
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:06:55): you mean
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:07:00): 5 chicken particals or
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:07:05): 5 chickens?
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:08:39): particals?
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:08:40): o_0?
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:09:23): pieces?
Oh My Graceee (오후 7:09:27): body parts?
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:09:35): YEAH GRACE,
DDONGSANGxP (오후 7:09:50): BECAUSE IT'S SO REALISTIC THAT I WOULD EAT FIVE WHOLE CHICKEN BODIES
ugh its andy (오후 6:15:35): I love you too
ugh its andy (오후 6:33:16): JERK
ugh its andy (오후 6:33:53): NOOB.
ugh its andy (오후 6:34:20): i hate you
ugh its andy (오후 7:02:47): i love you<33
ugh its andy (오후 7:02:49): 사랑해
ugh its andy (오후 7:10:25): OMPIJ
ugh its andy (오후 7:10:27): I HATE YOU
ugh its andy (오후 7:10:28): STUPID
ugh its andy (오후 7:15:41): I really missed you
LameGuest 05561: JERK
ANDYCHO (Guest): I hate you guys
ugh its andy (오후 8:56:03): I don't llike you
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:48:39): sounds like
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:48:44): something from joe obba haha
DDONGSANGxP (오후 8:48:51): LOL
DDONGSANGxP (오후 8:48:52): really?
DDONGSANGxP (오후 8:48:57): o_0?
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:48:58): mhm^^
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:48:59): hahahaha
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:49:03): i guess his "joeness"
kRnSarAx72 (오후 8:49:05): is rubbing off on u
LOLLLL. ahhahah. i love internet's way of connecting people <3
-->
apparently, new years resolutions have an 88% failure rate. how do they come up with that percentage? i have no idea. but i wouldn't doubt that it was very high... hmm... with me? eh. lol i kind of stopped with the whole memorizing verses thing but i'm still working to read the bible! except... i've only read four chapters this week...
-->
0213/1409; lock-in.
021409; snowboarding/ski trip! (only lame people ski).
WANNAWANNAWANNA COME? yeahyeahyeah! :D
-->
WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE?i wanna talktalktalk (:
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Friends.
what came up when I googled "what is a friend?":
A person who will never give up on you.
A friend is someone who goes with you in the good times and bad times.
Good friends are always by your side.
-___-;;
I hope that I can be one. Even when I don't want to. Even when it seems pointless. Will you pray for me? ... What to say, What to do. I don't have a clue...
A person who will never give up on you.
A friend is someone who goes with you in the good times and bad times.
Good friends are always by your side.
-___-;;
I hope that I can be one. Even when I don't want to. Even when it seems pointless. Will you pray for me? ... What to say, What to do. I don't have a clue...
shalom, ungrounded. (:
yayyyy. this makes me very happy. ompij. so many things... o_o;; AHHHHH. lol joe, i'll tell you when you get on aim later. ahhhhhhhhhhh.
k. so every beginning of the year, we have the very first bible study at our house... the WHOLE church comes and then afterwards, they play yootnohree. -_-;;. i spent three hours last night cleaning my room and then in a matter of hours it's going to get so messy... so today is the sunday they come over and so far, there are only guys over (kid-wise). WHY ARE GUYS SUCH BYUNTAES? and so annoying as well... last year they came over, they broke my closet door so i have mismatching doors. -_-;; and so far, they have sprayed perfume and stuff all over my room. then... they took over the computer... and then they took one of those sticky hands and made a big mark on my ceiling... and then they tried to go in my closet and open up my drawers which contained my bras and underwear... WTFREAK. i had to bribe them out with chocopies... one of them still has my brush... -________-;; SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!
hm... so spiritually...
i've been doing dandy :D.
me and two other kids in church are having like, this contest to see who can read the gospels+acts the fastest. but the contest is a side thing. i just really want to read the whole bible and UNDERSTAND most of what i'm reading. so far, im in last place... -_____-;; LOL but that's because i started later. im only a few chapters behind. im currently in Luke chapter 4. AREN'T YOU PROUD? ;D.
Lately, I've been asking God to kind of wake me up. Like how I've become so numb, I want to be like blown away by Him. you know? All these things, I've heard and read about for the past fourt... fifteen years. I'm so used to it all.
a friend of mine gave me a book called "the two doors of heaven" she also gave me "tuesdays with morrie" and "the five people you will meet in heaven" to borrow. apparently, 'the two doors of heaven' is a christian book. personally, i thought it wasn't written that well but there was one part that was interesting. And God answered my request. MUAHAHA. lol (:
"Then my ear was pierced by a scream from beside me. It was Jesus, crying out to God his Father. He was screaming his words to God-'Why have you forsaken me?' And in my soul I knew the answer. When his Father looked down at Jesus, he was seeing me. He was seeing my guilt- all out guilt- and he was crushing Jesus for it and deserting him there, leaving him all alone."
blahhhhh. i was just blah. lol. maybe it's just me. but that kind of offered a new look on things. not only did Jesus die for me, he died because of me... it's so simple but that kind of woke me up...
Luke 2:36... what? i thought women weren't allowed to have authority and whatnot. or does that not include prophets? whatttt? LOL. im so confused. >_<;;
... ompij.
the guys just came in, ate my mints, and then rearranged my stuffed animals to make it look like the rat was humping the panda... HAWON, WHYD YOU LET THEM LEAVE?! -_-;; oh Lordy...
... I'm so hungry... D:
EVERYONE, GET ONLINE, NOWWWW.
i havent talked to you guys in forever. D:
yay. now the girls are here. (:
LOL.
k. so every beginning of the year, we have the very first bible study at our house... the WHOLE church comes and then afterwards, they play yootnohree. -_-;;. i spent three hours last night cleaning my room and then in a matter of hours it's going to get so messy... so today is the sunday they come over and so far, there are only guys over (kid-wise). WHY ARE GUYS SUCH BYUNTAES? and so annoying as well... last year they came over, they broke my closet door so i have mismatching doors. -_-;; and so far, they have sprayed perfume and stuff all over my room. then... they took over the computer... and then they took one of those sticky hands and made a big mark on my ceiling... and then they tried to go in my closet and open up my drawers which contained my bras and underwear... WTFREAK. i had to bribe them out with chocopies... one of them still has my brush... -________-;; SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!
hm... so spiritually...
i've been doing dandy :D.
me and two other kids in church are having like, this contest to see who can read the gospels+acts the fastest. but the contest is a side thing. i just really want to read the whole bible and UNDERSTAND most of what i'm reading. so far, im in last place... -_____-;; LOL but that's because i started later. im only a few chapters behind. im currently in Luke chapter 4. AREN'T YOU PROUD? ;D.
Lately, I've been asking God to kind of wake me up. Like how I've become so numb, I want to be like blown away by Him. you know? All these things, I've heard and read about for the past fourt... fifteen years. I'm so used to it all.
a friend of mine gave me a book called "the two doors of heaven" she also gave me "tuesdays with morrie" and "the five people you will meet in heaven" to borrow. apparently, 'the two doors of heaven' is a christian book. personally, i thought it wasn't written that well but there was one part that was interesting. And God answered my request. MUAHAHA. lol (:
"Then my ear was pierced by a scream from beside me. It was Jesus, crying out to God his Father. He was screaming his words to God-'Why have you forsaken me?' And in my soul I knew the answer. When his Father looked down at Jesus, he was seeing me. He was seeing my guilt- all out guilt- and he was crushing Jesus for it and deserting him there, leaving him all alone."
blahhhhh. i was just blah. lol. maybe it's just me. but that kind of offered a new look on things. not only did Jesus die for me, he died because of me... it's so simple but that kind of woke me up...
Luke 2:36... what? i thought women weren't allowed to have authority and whatnot. or does that not include prophets? whatttt? LOL. im so confused. >_<;;
... ompij.
the guys just came in, ate my mints, and then rearranged my stuffed animals to make it look like the rat was humping the panda... HAWON, WHYD YOU LET THEM LEAVE?! -_-;; oh Lordy...
... I'm so hungry... D:
EVERYONE, GET ONLINE, NOWWWW.
i havent talked to you guys in forever. D:
yay. now the girls are here. (:
LOL.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
exams
exam results so far:
bio. -> 100%
hist. ->91%
latin -> 100%
YAYYYYY... except that history one... but w/e. that crap was so hard. i'll happily accept b. (:
bio. -> 100%
hist. ->91%
latin -> 100%
YAYYYYY... except that history one... but w/e. that crap was so hard. i'll happily accept b. (:
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
i don't like coming up w/titles. >_<
AHHHHHHHH. I'm so greatful for this four-day weekend. :). Okay. first, I'm still grounded... hehe... LOL. until this sunday. -_-;; but i gave my daddy ice cream and let him watch tv and so he gave me an hour on the computer. LOL. well actually, he gave me two hours but then my mom was like WHAT?! and so i have one hour. -_-;;. hmm... Secretly, I like being grounded. but not really. lol what i mean is, I like being grounded because it leaves me to myself. no distractions... aside from the tv (because when my parents say I'm grounded, the mean no computer)... but that's not a big deal because there isn't much to watch... no cable... sighhhhhh... -_-;; ANYWAYS, i can't make up excuses for not reading the bible because i have nothing else to do. nothing that would serve as an excuse. SO... here's another random post (... random excerpts from my journal):
011709. 9:07 pm.
earlier today I was cleaning my room and came across my BRIDGE stuff and I found something that I wrote down from morning QT. it was something that Sooji unnie (my other small group leader) said while we were praying... i wrote it down hehe. :D.
"we want you to not just be all around us but in us." ahhhhhahaha. yesyesyes (:
011809.
Isaiah 30:21:
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it."
... Father God, please help me to trust you in this time of change and uncertainty. I want to have faith and to be able to believe that everything is in my family and also my best interest. You know best. AHHHHH! Lord, help me to trust you. Please guide me through these confusing times when I don't know what lies ahead... As this becomes more and more into reality and as the possibility of this grows... idk... it just scares me... a LOT.
012009 2:40pm
mark 4:40: hw said to his disciples, " why are you so afraid? do you still have no faith?"
----
mark 5:36: "...don't be afraid; just believe"
----
Q. twice, Jesus feeds like a lot of people with just a little amount of food. and before he actually did, both times, the disciples said something like, "where are we supposed to get the bread to feed such a large crowd?" are they that stupid? didn't they learn the first time what Jesus was capable of?
---
LOLLLLL. that's so funny. Right after I asked that question, God. you just. AH! lololol. You just amaze me. As soon as I wrote "Are they that stupid? didn't they learn the first time what Jesus was capable of?" I continued on reading...:
17 Jesus knew what they were saying and asked them, "why are you discussing the fact that you don't have any bread? don't you understand yet? don't you catch on? are your minds still closed? 18 are you blind and deaf? don't you remember? 19 when I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets did you fill with leftover pieces?"
they told him, "twelve"
20 "when i broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many large baskets did you fill with the leftover pieces?"
they answered him, "seven"
21 he asked them, "don't you catch on yet?"
(mark 8:17-21 God's word translation)
are we like that at times? am i like that? am i slow to catch on to the things you're trying to show me? the things you're trying to tell me?... I think so. How you've been working through joe and through scripture , trying to tell me that it wasn't you but rather me, that left. Surely, I am slower. much slower than the disciples. it took me aver a year to get it. you never fail to amaze and to take me by surprise :)... I think i just wanted to pass on the blame. I didn't want to be the problem. Sorry for my ignorance and for being so stubborn.
---
mark 9:22-24
22 "... but if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
23" ' if you can '?" said Jesus. "everything is possible for him who believes."
24 immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
last sunday school:
hawon woo: so when Isaiah encountered God, he was like "woo is me! woo is me!"
me: ... what? no. you mean WOE is me. not WOO is me... BUT, woo IS you.
LOLLLLLLL. it was so funny. gah. I HATE THIS. blahh. east coast. EAST COASTTTT... gah. having faith. believing God knows better. trusting... gahhhhh. so hard.
I can't believe Joe's moving. :p.
keep posting. I can read blogs in school :D.
ps. im currently reading mark, in case you didn't notice. (: ALMOST done. now i have... luke, john, acts, and revelations and i'm done w/ new test. then, i shall read isaiah and blahblahblah...
011709. 9:07 pm.
earlier today I was cleaning my room and came across my BRIDGE stuff and I found something that I wrote down from morning QT. it was something that Sooji unnie (my other small group leader) said while we were praying... i wrote it down hehe. :D.
"we want you to not just be all around us but in us." ahhhhhahaha. yesyesyes (:
011809.
Isaiah 30:21:
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it."
... Father God, please help me to trust you in this time of change and uncertainty. I want to have faith and to be able to believe that everything is in my family and also my best interest. You know best. AHHHHH! Lord, help me to trust you. Please guide me through these confusing times when I don't know what lies ahead... As this becomes more and more into reality and as the possibility of this grows... idk... it just scares me... a LOT.
012009 2:40pm
mark 4:40: hw said to his disciples, " why are you so afraid? do you still have no faith?"
----
mark 5:36: "...don't be afraid; just believe"
----
Q. twice, Jesus feeds like a lot of people with just a little amount of food. and before he actually did, both times, the disciples said something like, "where are we supposed to get the bread to feed such a large crowd?" are they that stupid? didn't they learn the first time what Jesus was capable of?
---
LOLLLLL. that's so funny. Right after I asked that question, God. you just. AH! lololol. You just amaze me. As soon as I wrote "Are they that stupid? didn't they learn the first time what Jesus was capable of?" I continued on reading...:
17 Jesus knew what they were saying and asked them, "why are you discussing the fact that you don't have any bread? don't you understand yet? don't you catch on? are your minds still closed? 18 are you blind and deaf? don't you remember? 19 when I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets did you fill with leftover pieces?"
they told him, "twelve"
20 "when i broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many large baskets did you fill with the leftover pieces?"
they answered him, "seven"
21 he asked them, "don't you catch on yet?"
(mark 8:17-21 God's word translation)
are we like that at times? am i like that? am i slow to catch on to the things you're trying to show me? the things you're trying to tell me?... I think so. How you've been working through joe and through scripture , trying to tell me that it wasn't you but rather me, that left. Surely, I am slower. much slower than the disciples. it took me aver a year to get it. you never fail to amaze and to take me by surprise :)... I think i just wanted to pass on the blame. I didn't want to be the problem. Sorry for my ignorance and for being so stubborn.
---
mark 9:22-24
22 "... but if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
23" ' if you can '?" said Jesus. "everything is possible for him who believes."
24 immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
last sunday school:
hawon woo: so when Isaiah encountered God, he was like "woo is me! woo is me!"
me: ... what? no. you mean WOE is me. not WOO is me... BUT, woo IS you.
LOLLLLLLL. it was so funny. gah. I HATE THIS. blahh. east coast. EAST COASTTTT... gah. having faith. believing God knows better. trusting... gahhhhh. so hard.
I can't believe Joe's moving. :p.
keep posting. I can read blogs in school :D.
ps. im currently reading mark, in case you didn't notice. (: ALMOST done. now i have... luke, john, acts, and revelations and i'm done w/ new test. then, i shall read isaiah and blahblahblah...
Friday, January 16, 2009
JOE.
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:03): UGH
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:04): joe ugh its andy (오후 9:40:13): we have like a secret love
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:16): He's always like
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:18): I love you
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:23): but in front of everyone he's like
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:25): I DON'T LOVE YOU
DDONGSANGxP (오후 9:40:28): WHY DON'T I GET THAT
DDONGSANGxP (오후 9:40:30): :p
DDONGSANGxP (오후 9:40:32): im so jealous
DDONGSANGxP (오후 9:40:32): LOL
ugh its andy (오후 9:41:00): LOL
ugh its andy (오후 9:41:02): me > you
ugh its andy (오후 9:41:05): didn't you know?
D:
-->
nine days. o_o.
-->
praypraypray!
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:04): joe ugh its andy (오후 9:40:13): we have like a secret love
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:16): He's always like
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:18): I love you
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:23): but in front of everyone he's like
ugh its andy (오후 9:40:25): I DON'T LOVE YOU
DDONGSANGxP (오후 9:40:28): WHY DON'T I GET THAT
DDONGSANGxP (오후 9:40:30): :p
DDONGSANGxP (오후 9:40:32): im so jealous
DDONGSANGxP (오후 9:40:32): LOL
ugh its andy (오후 9:41:00): LOL
ugh its andy (오후 9:41:02): me > you
ugh its andy (오후 9:41:05): didn't you know?
D:
-->
nine days. o_o.
-->
praypraypray!
four day break (:
[12:45] nissi is awesome: should i come home
[12:45] DDONGSANGxP: are you coming?
[12:45] DDONGSANGxP: oh
[12:45] DDONGSANGxP: haha
[12:45] nissi is awesome: or should i stay
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: we might go to va
[12:46] nissi is awesome: no
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: sunday/monday
[12:46] nissi is awesome: maryland
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: or maryland monday
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: umma's not sure
[12:46] nissi is awesome: why virginia on sunday
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: idk
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: umma has to go grocery shopping for the annual thing at our house
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: and the samonim keeps bugging her to sleep over
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: or
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: monday, the pastor'
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: pastor's meeting
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: when they play yootnoree
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: is in md
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: don't you have fh meeting sunday?
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: are you going?
[12:47] nissi is awesome: sigh
[12:47] nissi is awesome: SO MANY THINGS
[12:47] nissi is awesome: omg
[12:47] nissi is awesome: so many things say yes
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: lol
[12:47] nissi is awesome: so little things say no
[12:47] nissi is awesome: im going to flip a coin
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: LOL
[12:47] nissi is awesome: u flip a coin too
[12:47] nissi is awesome: okay?
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: for what
[12:47] nissi is awesome: if
[12:47] nissi is awesome: we both get
[12:47] nissi is awesome: same thing
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: LOLLLLLLLLLLL
[12:48] nissi is awesome: if we both get
[12:48] nissi is awesome: different thing
[12:48] nissi is awesome: god says
[12:48] nissi is awesome: who cares
[12:48] DDONGSANGxP: -_-
[12:48] DDONGSANGxP: -________-
[12:48] nissi is awesome: okay
[12:48] nissi is awesome: ready?
[12:48] DDONGSANGxP: -________________________-
[12:48] nissi is awesome: find a quarter
[12:48] nissi is awesome: NOW
[12:48] DDONGSANGxP: dont bring God into this
[12:48] nissi is awesome: find a quarter
[12:48] nissi is awesome: u ready?
[12:48] nissi is awesome: u rdy?
[12:49] DDONGSANGxP: k
[12:49] DDONGSANGxP: not quarter
[12:49] DDONGSANGxP: nickel
[12:49] nissi is awesome: okay
[12:49] nissi is awesome: hold on
[12:49] nissi is awesome: FLIP
[12:49] DDONGSANGxP: what you get
[12:50] nissi is awesome: tell me what u got
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: NO
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: tell me
[12:50] nissi is awesome: tails
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: same
[12:50] nissi is awesome: god doesnt care
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: LOL
[12:50] nissi is awesome: i had brian flip too
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: LOL
[12:50] nissi is awesome: he got heads
[12:50] nissi is awesome: okay
[12:50] nissi is awesome: im going
[12:50] nissi is awesome: lol
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: to what?
[12:50] nissi is awesome: to delaware
[12:50] nissi is awesome: i have to do
[12:50] nissi is awesome: FAFSA
[12:50] nissi is awesome: i have to do
[12:50] nissi is awesome: INTERNSHIP
[12:50] nissi is awesome: i have to do
[12:50] nissi is awesome: FH MEETING
[12:50] nissi is awesome: wait
[12:50] nissi is awesome: meeting isn ext week
[12:50] nissi is awesome: anyways
[12:51] nissi is awesome: besides point
[12:51] DDONGSANGxP: you're coming to de ?
[12:51] nissi is awesome: yeah
[12:51] DDONGSANGxP: sunday?
[12:51] nissi is awesome: i have to see appa anyways
[12:51] nissi is awesome: right now
[12:52] DDONGSANGxP: o_____0?
[12:52] DDONGSANGxP: NOW?
[12:52] nissi is awesome: um
[12:52] nissi is awesome: sure
... my brother's not coming...
-___________________-;;
LOLLLLLLLLLL. what a crackhead. i guess that's where i get it from.
soooooooo. here are my weekend options:
-> sunday/monday in fairfax, va.
-> monday in fairfax.
-> monday in MD.
-> sunday/monday in md.
... i doubt the last one's going to happen. -_-;;
[12:45] DDONGSANGxP: are you coming?
[12:45] DDONGSANGxP: oh
[12:45] DDONGSANGxP: haha
[12:45] nissi is awesome: or should i stay
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: we might go to va
[12:46] nissi is awesome: no
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: sunday/monday
[12:46] nissi is awesome: maryland
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: or maryland monday
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: umma's not sure
[12:46] nissi is awesome: why virginia on sunday
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: idk
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: umma has to go grocery shopping for the annual thing at our house
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: and the samonim keeps bugging her to sleep over
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: or
[12:46] DDONGSANGxP: monday, the pastor'
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: pastor's meeting
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: when they play yootnoree
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: is in md
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: don't you have fh meeting sunday?
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: are you going?
[12:47] nissi is awesome: sigh
[12:47] nissi is awesome: SO MANY THINGS
[12:47] nissi is awesome: omg
[12:47] nissi is awesome: so many things say yes
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: lol
[12:47] nissi is awesome: so little things say no
[12:47] nissi is awesome: im going to flip a coin
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: LOL
[12:47] nissi is awesome: u flip a coin too
[12:47] nissi is awesome: okay?
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: for what
[12:47] nissi is awesome: if
[12:47] nissi is awesome: we both get
[12:47] nissi is awesome: same thing
[12:47] DDONGSANGxP: LOLLLLLLLLLLL
[12:48] nissi is awesome: if we both get
[12:48] nissi is awesome: different thing
[12:48] nissi is awesome: god says
[12:48] nissi is awesome: who cares
[12:48] DDONGSANGxP: -_-
[12:48] DDONGSANGxP: -________-
[12:48] nissi is awesome: okay
[12:48] nissi is awesome: ready?
[12:48] DDONGSANGxP: -________________________-
[12:48] nissi is awesome: find a quarter
[12:48] nissi is awesome: NOW
[12:48] DDONGSANGxP: dont bring God into this
[12:48] nissi is awesome: find a quarter
[12:48] nissi is awesome: u ready?
[12:48] nissi is awesome: u rdy?
[12:49] DDONGSANGxP: k
[12:49] DDONGSANGxP: not quarter
[12:49] DDONGSANGxP: nickel
[12:49] nissi is awesome: okay
[12:49] nissi is awesome: hold on
[12:49] nissi is awesome: FLIP
[12:49] DDONGSANGxP: what you get
[12:50] nissi is awesome: tell me what u got
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: NO
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: tell me
[12:50] nissi is awesome: tails
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: same
[12:50] nissi is awesome: god doesnt care
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: LOL
[12:50] nissi is awesome: i had brian flip too
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: LOL
[12:50] nissi is awesome: he got heads
[12:50] nissi is awesome: okay
[12:50] nissi is awesome: im going
[12:50] nissi is awesome: lol
[12:50] DDONGSANGxP: to what?
[12:50] nissi is awesome: to delaware
[12:50] nissi is awesome: i have to do
[12:50] nissi is awesome: FAFSA
[12:50] nissi is awesome: i have to do
[12:50] nissi is awesome: INTERNSHIP
[12:50] nissi is awesome: i have to do
[12:50] nissi is awesome: FH MEETING
[12:50] nissi is awesome: wait
[12:50] nissi is awesome: meeting isn ext week
[12:50] nissi is awesome: anyways
[12:51] nissi is awesome: besides point
[12:51] DDONGSANGxP: you're coming to de ?
[12:51] nissi is awesome: yeah
[12:51] DDONGSANGxP: sunday?
[12:51] nissi is awesome: i have to see appa anyways
[12:51] nissi is awesome: right now
[12:52] DDONGSANGxP: o_____0?
[12:52] DDONGSANGxP: NOW?
[12:52] nissi is awesome: um
[12:52] nissi is awesome: sure
... my brother's not coming...
-___________________-;;
LOLLLLLLLLLL. what a crackhead. i guess that's where i get it from.
soooooooo. here are my weekend options:
-> sunday/monday in fairfax, va.
-> monday in fairfax.
-> monday in MD.
-> sunday/monday in md.
... i doubt the last one's going to happen. -_-;;
NO MORE EXAMS.
general update: yay :)! today was a half day but the schedule was like: 4th pd, 6th pd, lunch, 5th pd... but most likely, we would watch a movie in 5th, and lunch was at 10:15 for me so i just asked my mom to pick me up at ten. LOL. and last night, when i asked, she was like NO. and then I asked like 50 more times and then it changed to an 'I'll think about it' then this morning she was like 'I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN. THIS IS THE LAST TIME.' LOL SUCCESS! but in my defense, it was the ONLY time I've ever done that. Today I took History and Business Exams. Business was so easy. I hate that class... it's so hot in there 'cause of all the computers and it's so easy >_<. and then History... BAHHHH. i think that was the hardest one...? or maybe Bio. test was harder... idk. I think I got at least a B and in Bio., I think I got at least a C... not good -__-;;...
Okay. So currently, I am grounded. LOLLL. which is really funny because my mom was looking at me go on the computer and she just turned away. LOLLLLLLL. but I don't think she's forgotten. my mom has AMAZING memory... unlike me. -_-;; I think she's just letting me go because my exams are done :)... today, after I got home from school, I tried to go to sleep on my brother's bed but I couldn't. I can't take naps. So then, I got up and I baked cookies. :D. it was the first time ever that I didn't burn them. However, the bottom row isn't really baked all the way I think. ehh;; And I think there was something wrong with the egg but I didn't see it until I mixed it all in so I might get food poisoning... LOLLLL yay! a first! -_-;; I'm going to get so fat. thirty two peanut butter cookies... o________o;;
ohmypij. My dad... ohhhhhh boy. He uninstalled my aim... and I asked him why he kept doing these things... because before, when I was uploading or installing something, He would like X out of them... He said it was because the aim log in box pops up everytime you turn on the computer. he was like, I didn't know it was yours... Only me and my dad use the computer... WHOSE ELSE WOULD IT BE?? -_-;; LOL. I wasn't mad or anything but it's kind of annoying. I don't randomly uninstall anything of his EVEN THOUGH there are like BAJILLIONS of things of his that pop up on the computer. oh boyyyy.
spiritual update:
Hmm... I'm so glad that I have a four day weekend. Lately, things have been happening and I haven't really had the time to process everything. My mind is like blahhhh. a bunch of things just floating around... So many things I'm so unsure about... My future's so blurry... On a better note, I've been reading the bible a lot lately. On Tuesday, I read for an hour and yesterday, I read for like... TWO hours. :D. I was flipping through my spiral journal and I was looking through all of these verses and I was like 'o____o' by some of them. It's really weird. no matter how many times you might read the bible, new things will ALWAYS catch your eye. And like, so many verses I've already read before, I completely forgot about them... Anyways, It seems that the more I read the bible, the more and more I want to keep going. Like, I look forward to it more. It's no longer something I do because I feel like I should. It's become something I want to do :)...
Lately, I've become so insecure about my faith. Why is it that everything's becoming so numb? If I were to die right now, where would I go?... I wish I was some murderer of a druggie or something. Sometimes, I wish I was born into an atheistic family and THEN come to know Christ. That way, I wouldn't feel so used to everything. I wish I truly understood everything that God's done and continues to do for me. I wish I could truly appreciate everything. You know those lyrics?: "the simplest of all love songs, I want to bring to You. So I'll let my words be few. Jesus I am so in love with you." I wish I could sing those lyrics and really mean them. -_-;;
Yesterday I started to change the way I wrote in my journal again. Instead of writing before I read the bible or whatever, I wrote WHILE I was writing. It was really different :).
a bit of last night's entry:
011609. 6:50 pm.
Why is it that I ask to be used by you and then I shy away at the simplest of things? Like how in class, someone asks to use my pen for a second and then I'm so suddenly aware of how it says, "Student for Christ" or how when I took a friend to school, I was so aware of the christian radio station that was playing. Is that just me? Or when I'm humming Hosanna and someone asks me what song I'm humming to... I just ignore them. Why is it that I do these things? I don't think I'm embarrassed... or is it? "I am not ashamed of the Good News. It is God's power to save everyone who believes" (romans 1:16). ... GAH... I'm lacking in so many areas... ahhhhhhh....
other spiritual randomness:
I wish I had stronger faith. But how does that happen? -______-;;
"Actually, since a couple days ago, I've been reading the Bible a LOT.. I went through a period where I just didn't feel like even picking it up.. but ever since a couple days ago, I just want to read more and more... It's like I'm starving and it's my food." ahhhhhhhh. I'm glad I met her. :). YAY FH! LOL. but yeah. that's how I'm feeling right now. :). but still, im not "feeling" much. but i'm not going to focus on that anymore. (;
I used to have a girl on my necklace. my birthstone was shaped like her dress. it sat right next to my cross... and I took it off. LOLLLLL. maybe I'm just being a little ridiculous right now but it just freaked me outtt. the whole "putting myself into the picture"... "taking the spotlight off of God"... "pushing God out of the focus"... oh boy. idk. it just... i was just... BLAH. and I noticed the girl... I just never felt like taking her off of my necklace. but i stopped being lazy and took her off last night :). idk... LOL. im so retarded. (:
AMAZING verses:
"Look among the nations and watch. Be UTTERLY AMAZED. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if I told you" (Habakkuk 1:5).
"Even if the fig tree does not bloom and the vines have no grapes, even if the olive tree fails to produce and the fields yield no food, even if the sheep pen is empty and the stalls have no cattle- even then, I will be happy with the LORD. I will truly find joy in God, who saves me" (habakkuk 3:17/18).
ahhhhh. I like Habakkuk. it's like a Q&A session with God. OH BOY. if only I could do that... Habakkuk's name means "to fold one's hands" or "to embrace" :). ahhh. I wish my faith were as strong. TRULY find joy in God. I keep saying things. things that I wish I meant but don't really. empty words. empty promises. I don't want to. saifjosdfims.
questions from reading:
->are angels christians?
->i thought there couldn't be any sin in heaven... what about lucifer?
->doesn't the bible say we sin like ALL THE TIME? even every second? what is it that we do? o_0
-> matthew 16:20 says: "then He warned His disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ." ... why would he do that? wouldn't He want them to know? o_0;;
random randomness:
ahhhhhhh. who knows where I'll be six months from now... future's so blahhhhh. I pray that whatever happens will be in God's will and that everything will end up being for the best...
random comment on random post:
Everything I've written is a bunch of random crap all squished together. -_- this is what I get for being too lazy to split this up into different posts.
Take me,
Break me,
Mold me,
&Make me
to be all that you want me to be.
I am YOURS...
i wish... FAITH. gahhhhhhh. dughskdfjs.
pray for my fast tomorrow, please. :).
-->
Ps. LOL Andy. this is what you get for telling me to update... a REALLY REALLY LONG and confusing, hard to follow post. oh. and I have one page left in your notebook. when mckbc comes around, I BETTER NOT GET SOME SKIMPY LITTLE HALF FILLED NOTEBOOK FROM YOU. -_-;;. &JOE... wait till you're 25. OKAY? :D! ahhhhaha. i love you guys (:
dangit. now i have to go and install a new aim. i hate installing new aim because it's never the same as the last one you installed and then you get all confused and it takes awhile to get used to. D:
Okay. So currently, I am grounded. LOLLL. which is really funny because my mom was looking at me go on the computer and she just turned away. LOLLLLLLL. but I don't think she's forgotten. my mom has AMAZING memory... unlike me. -_-;; I think she's just letting me go because my exams are done :)... today, after I got home from school, I tried to go to sleep on my brother's bed but I couldn't. I can't take naps. So then, I got up and I baked cookies. :D. it was the first time ever that I didn't burn them. However, the bottom row isn't really baked all the way I think. ehh;; And I think there was something wrong with the egg but I didn't see it until I mixed it all in so I might get food poisoning... LOLLLL yay! a first! -_-;; I'm going to get so fat. thirty two peanut butter cookies... o________o;;
ohmypij. My dad... ohhhhhh boy. He uninstalled my aim... and I asked him why he kept doing these things... because before, when I was uploading or installing something, He would like X out of them... He said it was because the aim log in box pops up everytime you turn on the computer. he was like, I didn't know it was yours... Only me and my dad use the computer... WHOSE ELSE WOULD IT BE?? -_-;; LOL. I wasn't mad or anything but it's kind of annoying. I don't randomly uninstall anything of his EVEN THOUGH there are like BAJILLIONS of things of his that pop up on the computer. oh boyyyy.
spiritual update:
Hmm... I'm so glad that I have a four day weekend. Lately, things have been happening and I haven't really had the time to process everything. My mind is like blahhhh. a bunch of things just floating around... So many things I'm so unsure about... My future's so blurry... On a better note, I've been reading the bible a lot lately. On Tuesday, I read for an hour and yesterday, I read for like... TWO hours. :D. I was flipping through my spiral journal and I was looking through all of these verses and I was like 'o____o' by some of them. It's really weird. no matter how many times you might read the bible, new things will ALWAYS catch your eye. And like, so many verses I've already read before, I completely forgot about them... Anyways, It seems that the more I read the bible, the more and more I want to keep going. Like, I look forward to it more. It's no longer something I do because I feel like I should. It's become something I want to do :)...
Lately, I've become so insecure about my faith. Why is it that everything's becoming so numb? If I were to die right now, where would I go?... I wish I was some murderer of a druggie or something. Sometimes, I wish I was born into an atheistic family and THEN come to know Christ. That way, I wouldn't feel so used to everything. I wish I truly understood everything that God's done and continues to do for me. I wish I could truly appreciate everything. You know those lyrics?: "the simplest of all love songs, I want to bring to You. So I'll let my words be few. Jesus I am so in love with you." I wish I could sing those lyrics and really mean them. -_-;;
Yesterday I started to change the way I wrote in my journal again. Instead of writing before I read the bible or whatever, I wrote WHILE I was writing. It was really different :).
a bit of last night's entry:
011609. 6:50 pm.
Why is it that I ask to be used by you and then I shy away at the simplest of things? Like how in class, someone asks to use my pen for a second and then I'm so suddenly aware of how it says, "Student for Christ" or how when I took a friend to school, I was so aware of the christian radio station that was playing. Is that just me? Or when I'm humming Hosanna and someone asks me what song I'm humming to... I just ignore them. Why is it that I do these things? I don't think I'm embarrassed... or is it? "I am not ashamed of the Good News. It is God's power to save everyone who believes" (romans 1:16). ... GAH... I'm lacking in so many areas... ahhhhhhh....
other spiritual randomness:
I wish I had stronger faith. But how does that happen? -______-;;
"Actually, since a couple days ago, I've been reading the Bible a LOT.. I went through a period where I just didn't feel like even picking it up.. but ever since a couple days ago, I just want to read more and more... It's like I'm starving and it's my food." ahhhhhhhh. I'm glad I met her. :). YAY FH! LOL. but yeah. that's how I'm feeling right now. :). but still, im not "feeling" much. but i'm not going to focus on that anymore. (;
I used to have a girl on my necklace. my birthstone was shaped like her dress. it sat right next to my cross... and I took it off. LOLLLLL. maybe I'm just being a little ridiculous right now but it just freaked me outtt. the whole "putting myself into the picture"... "taking the spotlight off of God"... "pushing God out of the focus"... oh boy. idk. it just... i was just... BLAH. and I noticed the girl... I just never felt like taking her off of my necklace. but i stopped being lazy and took her off last night :). idk... LOL. im so retarded. (:
AMAZING verses:
"Look among the nations and watch. Be UTTERLY AMAZED. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if I told you" (Habakkuk 1:5).
"Even if the fig tree does not bloom and the vines have no grapes, even if the olive tree fails to produce and the fields yield no food, even if the sheep pen is empty and the stalls have no cattle- even then, I will be happy with the LORD. I will truly find joy in God, who saves me" (habakkuk 3:17/18).
ahhhhh. I like Habakkuk. it's like a Q&A session with God. OH BOY. if only I could do that... Habakkuk's name means "to fold one's hands" or "to embrace" :). ahhh. I wish my faith were as strong. TRULY find joy in God. I keep saying things. things that I wish I meant but don't really. empty words. empty promises. I don't want to. saifjosdfims.
questions from reading:
->are angels christians?
->i thought there couldn't be any sin in heaven... what about lucifer?
->doesn't the bible say we sin like ALL THE TIME? even every second? what is it that we do? o_0
-> matthew 16:20 says: "then He warned His disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ." ... why would he do that? wouldn't He want them to know? o_0;;
random randomness:
ahhhhhhh. who knows where I'll be six months from now... future's so blahhhhh. I pray that whatever happens will be in God's will and that everything will end up being for the best...
random comment on random post:
Everything I've written is a bunch of random crap all squished together. -_- this is what I get for being too lazy to split this up into different posts.
Take me,
Break me,
Mold me,
&Make me
to be all that you want me to be.
I am YOURS...
i wish... FAITH. gahhhhhhh. dughskdfjs.
pray for my fast tomorrow, please. :).
-->
Ps. LOL Andy. this is what you get for telling me to update... a REALLY REALLY LONG and confusing, hard to follow post. oh. and I have one page left in your notebook. when mckbc comes around, I BETTER NOT GET SOME SKIMPY LITTLE HALF FILLED NOTEBOOK FROM YOU. -_-;;. &JOE... wait till you're 25. OKAY? :D! ahhhhaha. i love you guys (:
dangit. now i have to go and install a new aim. i hate installing new aim because it's never the same as the last one you installed and then you get all confused and it takes awhile to get used to. D:
Monday, January 12, 2009
blerf.
I need to stop using my journal to talk ABOUT God and start talking TO God, through my journal.
I'm having trouble processing everything. Things aren't sinking in. Nothing's changing. And by that, I mean my actions, my thoughts, my motives aren't changing... It's like I'm frozen in time, not knowing what to do. What's the next step? Where do I go from here?
This week is midterm week. wed-fri. why am I not studying? why am I sitting on the computer, writing about why I'm not studying? -____-.
People are weird. I love it :D... But psychology=12 years of school... FAILFAILFAIL.
I'm having trouble processing everything. Things aren't sinking in. Nothing's changing. And by that, I mean my actions, my thoughts, my motives aren't changing... It's like I'm frozen in time, not knowing what to do. What's the next step? Where do I go from here?
This week is midterm week. wed-fri. why am I not studying? why am I sitting on the computer, writing about why I'm not studying? -____-.
People are weird. I love it :D... But psychology=12 years of school... FAILFAILFAIL.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
heart motives.
WOAH. three posts today.
two days ago my brother made me listen to sermons...? idk what they are.
Apparently, they were from some Pastor named Joe Lee. LOLLLLL. so funny. >_<.
there are four types. Like me, Love me, Respect me, Perfect me.
I made him go through all four. LOL. but i didn't listen to all of them. I think the one that fits me best is Love Me. o_0;;
http://revival.cfchome.org/taxonomy/term/67
-__________________________-;;
im non confrontational, also. ew. i don't like it. but otherwise, i'll cry.
>_<
... the more i listen, the more i agree i am a love me. LOLL. but yeah. :/
it's actually pretty interesting. i think most of it is accurate.
------------------------->
i used to have two burts bees chapstick... but now, i have one left. i put the other one into the washer... -_____-. i think i've put four burts bees into the washer so far... and like two or three softlips thingy. what's wrong with me... >_<
two days ago my brother made me listen to sermons...? idk what they are.
Apparently, they were from some Pastor named Joe Lee. LOLLLLL. so funny. >_<.
there are four types. Like me, Love me, Respect me, Perfect me.
I made him go through all four. LOL. but i didn't listen to all of them. I think the one that fits me best is Love Me. o_0;;
http://revival.cfchome.org/taxonomy/term/67
-__________________________-;;
im non confrontational, also. ew. i don't like it. but otherwise, i'll cry.
>_<
... the more i listen, the more i agree i am a love me. LOLL. but yeah. :/
it's actually pretty interesting. i think most of it is accurate.
------------------------->
i used to have two burts bees chapstick... but now, i have one left. i put the other one into the washer... -_____-. i think i've put four burts bees into the washer so far... and like two or three softlips thingy. what's wrong with me... >_<
the events following the rally... OHBOY;;
OKAY. so we left the building at 8:55 exactly (muahaha... why do I only remember stupid useless things?). and then we sat in the car.
Hawon: Let's pray because we forgot to pray on our way here. and then yeah. he prayed.
A little background information. 16 people from our church went. o_o (where did all of these people come from? why don't they come to church? LOLLL) and we took three cars. the gray church van, kyunghoon's car, and tina's car.
okay. so we left the church and about... like NOT EVEN 10 minutes away from the church (philippi, not dkbc)....
okay. let's set the scenario first. I was in the van which hawon was driving with my brother, johnny, jasmine, steve, Zophar (LOL. we named him), and jeff. we are the first car and tina was following and then kyunghoon. so the car was on the right lane and he just kept driving and i guess he didn't notice the road splitting? idk. and we were on the exit and then he was like oh. we aren't supposed to be taking this and so he tried to get out and didn't realize that there was another car in the lane to the left of us. we BARELY missed the car. I was soo freaked out. and then we went to the main road... whatever that's called. >_< but you have to understand that the road had already split so we were driving on the part that wasn't really a road... it was like forked and we were changing from one to the other... W/E. so we were fine. and we drive for like another second, and we were like OMG WE ALMOST HIT THE CAR. and then someone realizes that the other cars stopped. tina's car pulled onto the side of the road. so we stop. and wait... and wait... and then steve calls tina and it turns out that she hit a small ditch and her two right tires popped. -___________-;; LOLLLLLLLL. yeah.. well... THREE HOURS LATER, it wasn't so ' LOL ' anymore. -_-;;. this is like.. maybe 9:10-ish? and then so the older guys get out and after like AN HOUR... maybe TWO? they FINALLY change the front tire... does it REALLY take that long? -_-;;... yeah. the kids were squished into the van... we just sat there in the dark. ompij shihun/shawn kept leaving and entering... it was sooo cold. my feet were frozen... -_-;; and then like... THIS GUY PULLED OVER. and i was like oh. that's really kind. you don't see many people like that these days. and he came out... 0___________________0. he came out and he had this gun in his hand. i SCREAMED and i ducked under and i was like on the floor. I FLIPPED OUT. and Zophar (at this point, it was only chong, zophar, and me i think in the car) started screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO DIE! TERRORIST! WE COME IN PEACE!" LOL. ohboy. i love these kids. LOL. but i didn't see the guy that well... only the gun in his hand. but when he said that, i looked up and i saw that he had a turban on his head. and i was like WTFREAK? and it scared me even more. and then i looked at the gun and realized it wasn't a gun... >_< it was a flashlight. but in our defence, it was L-shaped and it wasn't on... and he was holding like a gun. and so i smacked zophar and told him to shutup because that was really mean. what if he heard us. o_o. and then... yeah. i got my camera out and started interviewing people... LOL. my way of passing time. and so later, Kyunghoon, hawon, eunice, and janice went to walmart and bought another tire and this foam thingy that fills your tire with air or whatever... that took them like an hour to find the actual walmart and then another forty minutes or so to come back... they didn't fix the tire because they bought wrong size so it didn't fit... LOLLLLL WHAT LOSERS. -_____-;; and in the end, after sitting on the side of the highway RIGHT OUTSIDE the church for about three hours, we left. My brother took the van home and we squished all the kids inside while we left kyunghoon, hawon, tina, eunice, janice, and jeff behind. -_-;; we got home at about 2 am... and then being a pk, i had to wait till everyone left. (OMPIJ. SO ANNOYING). and then we had to drop off the remaining people at their houses... i don't understand why my brother couldn't have just dropped me off first because we live five minutes away from church... we went to tracy/eunsu's house which is 40 or so minutes away... FOURTY STUPID MINUTES. ompij. i came home at 4:03. exactly. see? random selective memory... >_< ompij. like.. the worst car experience ever. and it was raining so hard in delaware... this beats the time my brother and i were in the car accident and we rolled three times... yeah. at least that was over in like a minute... minus the ER thing... -_-;; ohboy. back to the people still in maryland... they ended up calling roadside assistance which was free because of warranty... I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY WAITING FOUR HOURS TO DO THAT... -_______-;; WHAT A NIGHT/MORNING... im so freaking tired. not even half of the church people showed up today. i had to wake up early... im dying. i should go to sleep but i have a project due tomorrow... AHHHHHHHHHHHH. i couldn't go to sleep because jasmine was ontop of me and twisted my hips into a really awkward position. >_<
this concludes the story of dfkbc car incident number two. i wonder when number three will happen... OH and car incident number one... YEAH that happened like A MILE AWAY from where we were stranded. o_0... i think it's ironic that this happened the time we actually DID pray and not on our way there when we didn't... idk -_-;;
Hawon: Let's pray because we forgot to pray on our way here. and then yeah. he prayed.
A little background information. 16 people from our church went. o_o (where did all of these people come from? why don't they come to church? LOLLL) and we took three cars. the gray church van, kyunghoon's car, and tina's car.
okay. so we left the church and about... like NOT EVEN 10 minutes away from the church (philippi, not dkbc)....
okay. let's set the scenario first. I was in the van which hawon was driving with my brother, johnny, jasmine, steve, Zophar (LOL. we named him), and jeff. we are the first car and tina was following and then kyunghoon. so the car was on the right lane and he just kept driving and i guess he didn't notice the road splitting? idk. and we were on the exit and then he was like oh. we aren't supposed to be taking this and so he tried to get out and didn't realize that there was another car in the lane to the left of us. we BARELY missed the car. I was soo freaked out. and then we went to the main road... whatever that's called. >_< but you have to understand that the road had already split so we were driving on the part that wasn't really a road... it was like forked and we were changing from one to the other... W/E. so we were fine. and we drive for like another second, and we were like OMG WE ALMOST HIT THE CAR. and then someone realizes that the other cars stopped. tina's car pulled onto the side of the road. so we stop. and wait... and wait... and then steve calls tina and it turns out that she hit a small ditch and her two right tires popped. -___________-;; LOLLLLLLLL. yeah.. well... THREE HOURS LATER, it wasn't so ' LOL ' anymore. -_-;;. this is like.. maybe 9:10-ish? and then so the older guys get out and after like AN HOUR... maybe TWO? they FINALLY change the front tire... does it REALLY take that long? -_-;;... yeah. the kids were squished into the van... we just sat there in the dark. ompij shihun/shawn kept leaving and entering... it was sooo cold. my feet were frozen... -_-;; and then like... THIS GUY PULLED OVER. and i was like oh. that's really kind. you don't see many people like that these days. and he came out... 0___________________0. he came out and he had this gun in his hand. i SCREAMED and i ducked under and i was like on the floor. I FLIPPED OUT. and Zophar (at this point, it was only chong, zophar, and me i think in the car) started screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO DIE! TERRORIST! WE COME IN PEACE!" LOL. ohboy. i love these kids. LOL. but i didn't see the guy that well... only the gun in his hand. but when he said that, i looked up and i saw that he had a turban on his head. and i was like WTFREAK? and it scared me even more. and then i looked at the gun and realized it wasn't a gun... >_< it was a flashlight. but in our defence, it was L-shaped and it wasn't on... and he was holding like a gun. and so i smacked zophar and told him to shutup because that was really mean. what if he heard us. o_o. and then... yeah. i got my camera out and started interviewing people... LOL. my way of passing time. and so later, Kyunghoon, hawon, eunice, and janice went to walmart and bought another tire and this foam thingy that fills your tire with air or whatever... that took them like an hour to find the actual walmart and then another forty minutes or so to come back... they didn't fix the tire because they bought wrong size so it didn't fit... LOLLLLL WHAT LOSERS. -_____-;; and in the end, after sitting on the side of the highway RIGHT OUTSIDE the church for about three hours, we left. My brother took the van home and we squished all the kids inside while we left kyunghoon, hawon, tina, eunice, janice, and jeff behind. -_-;; we got home at about 2 am... and then being a pk, i had to wait till everyone left. (OMPIJ. SO ANNOYING). and then we had to drop off the remaining people at their houses... i don't understand why my brother couldn't have just dropped me off first because we live five minutes away from church... we went to tracy/eunsu's house which is 40 or so minutes away... FOURTY STUPID MINUTES. ompij. i came home at 4:03. exactly. see? random selective memory... >_< ompij. like.. the worst car experience ever. and it was raining so hard in delaware... this beats the time my brother and i were in the car accident and we rolled three times... yeah. at least that was over in like a minute... minus the ER thing... -_-;; ohboy. back to the people still in maryland... they ended up calling roadside assistance which was free because of warranty... I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY WAITING FOUR HOURS TO DO THAT... -_______-;; WHAT A NIGHT/MORNING... im so freaking tired. not even half of the church people showed up today. i had to wake up early... im dying. i should go to sleep but i have a project due tomorrow... AHHHHHHHHHHHH. i couldn't go to sleep because jasmine was ontop of me and twisted my hips into a really awkward position. >_<
this concludes the story of dfkbc car incident number two. i wonder when number three will happen... OH and car incident number one... YEAH that happened like A MILE AWAY from where we were stranded. o_0... i think it's ironic that this happened the time we actually DID pray and not on our way there when we didn't... idk -_-;;
FH rally
OHBOY. first off, I'll start with the rally mainly because this isn't the actual story I wanted to post about but I'll just get it out of the way (I took lots of mental notes for you, andy :D). Hm... okay.
1. we came to church at around... 12? like 11:40 or so and we were ALL there except like kyunghoon, eunice, and janice. they were about an hour late. WHY IS KYUNGHOON ALWAYS LATE?! >_<.
2. left around 1:40.
3. arrived at... 3?
4. I went to the bathroom and I found this lovely toilet that was like not even two feet off the ground. made me laugh so hard. and so I took a picture. :D.
5. There was nobody there and then we realized that we were in the wrong building so we walk next door to find random fh people. and joe. LOL. which i TOTALLY said hi to. He's just deaf.
6. uhhh... OH. and then the counselors dumped us in some room where we sat in silence. how lovely and awkward and nice of them. we played babo game for like 5 seconds... i ate a whole chocolate bar and I felt really fat. we were there for like 40 minutes. >_<
7. oh wow. this is going to be a long post. okay. and then, after random walking around, we went into the other room where we played hangman. LOL WHAT THE HECK?? how lame. >_< ... another 30 minutes?
8. a little before 5, the thing started. there were about 60 people? i think? idk. i can't estimate. uhhhh... I really like the first song they sang but i forget what it was and then... not to us. :D. sermon was weird. LOL. so random. but it was okay. i wish i wrote a few things down so I could remember them. Like there were random verses that I heard and liked but I forget them :(. Hmm... what else... Pastor talked about Matthew something... the one where he heals the paralyzed man who waslowered into the room... briefly on vain repetition which I do all the time >_< and relationships...? i know there was more but i forget. -_-;; but overall, the message was pretty good but i kept thinking about other things for some reason. usually, i don't do that.
9. uhhhhh. there was a skit before that... i recorded the WHOLE THING. like ALL 17 MINUTES OF IT. i thought my hand would fall off. idk if I'll upload it or not.
10. and then we broke up into small groups but jenn. wasn't there. D: so my flock sister and I went to Grace and Aimee. It was nice and awkward... >_<. We were talking about prayer requests and stuff... Most of us said something about laziness and procrastinating... I don't know why but I started to like... getting tears in my eye. -______-;;. and then we went around praying and it was so funny because we were all trying not to say "i just want to..." "thank you for this day" ahahahaha. and then, my turn came around and i failed. like no joke. When I pray out loud, my mind shuts off and I can't think. I can't do anything. mine was like... 5 seconds long. >____<.
hmm.. this is too long. i'll make another post for what i REALLY want to talk about. >_<. but back to fh. I think that the whole ministry is SO amazing. (: really. It's so cool how the counselors put so much time and effort into it. How you guys meet every month to prepare everything. I think they should show people. like i didn't know until after i went to the meeting... uninvited LOL. >_< even though i didn't stay for it, you could see how people were like so excited and like.. GAH. LOL. yeah. counselors<3 :D.
1. we came to church at around... 12? like 11:40 or so and we were ALL there except like kyunghoon, eunice, and janice. they were about an hour late. WHY IS KYUNGHOON ALWAYS LATE?! >_<.
2. left around 1:40.
3. arrived at... 3?
4. I went to the bathroom and I found this lovely toilet that was like not even two feet off the ground. made me laugh so hard. and so I took a picture. :D.
5. There was nobody there and then we realized that we were in the wrong building so we walk next door to find random fh people. and joe. LOL. which i TOTALLY said hi to. He's just deaf.
6. uhhh... OH. and then the counselors dumped us in some room where we sat in silence. how lovely and awkward and nice of them. we played babo game for like 5 seconds... i ate a whole chocolate bar and I felt really fat. we were there for like 40 minutes. >_<
7. oh wow. this is going to be a long post. okay. and then, after random walking around, we went into the other room where we played hangman. LOL WHAT THE HECK?? how lame. >_< ... another 30 minutes?
8. a little before 5, the thing started. there were about 60 people? i think? idk. i can't estimate. uhhhh... I really like the first song they sang but i forget what it was and then... not to us. :D. sermon was weird. LOL. so random. but it was okay. i wish i wrote a few things down so I could remember them. Like there were random verses that I heard and liked but I forget them :(. Hmm... what else... Pastor talked about Matthew something... the one where he heals the paralyzed man who waslowered into the room... briefly on vain repetition which I do all the time >_< and relationships...? i know there was more but i forget. -_-;; but overall, the message was pretty good but i kept thinking about other things for some reason. usually, i don't do that.
9. uhhhhh. there was a skit before that... i recorded the WHOLE THING. like ALL 17 MINUTES OF IT. i thought my hand would fall off. idk if I'll upload it or not.
10. and then we broke up into small groups but jenn. wasn't there. D: so my flock sister and I went to Grace and Aimee. It was nice and awkward... >_<. We were talking about prayer requests and stuff... Most of us said something about laziness and procrastinating... I don't know why but I started to like... getting tears in my eye. -______-;;. and then we went around praying and it was so funny because we were all trying not to say "i just want to..." "thank you for this day" ahahahaha. and then, my turn came around and i failed. like no joke. When I pray out loud, my mind shuts off and I can't think. I can't do anything. mine was like... 5 seconds long. >____<.
hmm.. this is too long. i'll make another post for what i REALLY want to talk about. >_<. but back to fh. I think that the whole ministry is SO amazing. (: really. It's so cool how the counselors put so much time and effort into it. How you guys meet every month to prepare everything. I think they should show people. like i didn't know until after i went to the meeting... uninvited LOL. >_< even though i didn't stay for it, you could see how people were like so excited and like.. GAH. LOL. yeah. counselors<3 :D.
Friday, January 9, 2009
SELAH
I've said this before but there's EVEN MORE that I've learned in the past few days... past HOURS even. There's so much suffering going on. So much pain, so much struggling... And it's all behind closed doors. We all put on this mask. We aren't sharing, we aren't telling. But isn't that what a church is? Not just a building. I can list at least four or five people going through so much in our youth group. And considering how our church is small, four/five people is a LOT. It's just so weird. We know each other so well and then at the same time, we're strangers to one another. IDK. I guess I'd be a hypocrite writing all of these things considering... >_< LOL. I hate hypocrites. -_-;;
"It grows big
bu he
is small
although
big things
are happening inside."
I've been reading again lately :). Every tuesday and whenever I have time left over. I've read 1,2,&3 John+Jude+Hosea and I plan to beat steve in reading the gospels+Acts AHAHAHA. lol :D. but... it seems like, STILL, nothings happening. I didn't expect anything to happen but it's still a bit disappointing... OHWELL. >_<
psalm 77:
1 I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. 2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted. 3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint. 4 You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak. 5 I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; 6 I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired: 7 "Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? 8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? 9 Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?" SELAH 10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High." 11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. 12 I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. 13 Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? 14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples 15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. SELAH 16 The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed. 17 The clouds poured down water, the skies resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth. 18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked. 19 Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen. 20 You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
I just googled and SELAH means "stop and listen". my new favorite word :).I wonder what happened to David. what happened in the end? did it ever stop? how long? o_o;; w/e. it doesn't REALLY matter, does it? i don't think so. like the verse says, "whatever happens, give thanks. because it is in God's will in Christ that you do this" (<- God's Word translation. not The Message :)). but I know it's selfish, but I'm glad David suffered. I can find some kind of hope in reading about his struggles. I hope someone can find hope in my struggles as well so they don't go wasted. >_<. I don't want useless struggling. but RAHRAHRAH. I know, I know. they weren't exactly wasted but still. ahhaaha. I'm beginning to talk to myself. >_<
"It grows big
bu he
is small
although
big things
are happening inside."
I've been reading again lately :). Every tuesday and whenever I have time left over. I've read 1,2,&3 John+Jude+Hosea and I plan to beat steve in reading the gospels+Acts AHAHAHA. lol :D. but... it seems like, STILL, nothings happening. I didn't expect anything to happen but it's still a bit disappointing... OHWELL. >_<
psalm 77:
1 I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. 2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted. 3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint. 4 You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak. 5 I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; 6 I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired: 7 "Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? 8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? 9 Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?" SELAH 10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High." 11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. 12 I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. 13 Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? 14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples 15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. SELAH 16 The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed. 17 The clouds poured down water, the skies resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth. 18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked. 19 Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen. 20 You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
I just googled and SELAH means "stop and listen". my new favorite word :).I wonder what happened to David. what happened in the end? did it ever stop? how long? o_o;; w/e. it doesn't REALLY matter, does it? i don't think so. like the verse says, "whatever happens, give thanks. because it is in God's will in Christ that you do this" (<- God's Word translation. not The Message :)). but I know it's selfish, but I'm glad David suffered. I can find some kind of hope in reading about his struggles. I hope someone can find hope in my struggles as well so they don't go wasted. >_<. I don't want useless struggling. but RAHRAHRAH. I know, I know. they weren't exactly wasted but still. ahhaaha. I'm beginning to talk to myself. >_<
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
short and random.
I think... that the reason why I don't share with church people my struggles is because it's all so different. The kids in my church seem to struggle more with emotional/physical problems while I deal with emotional/spiritual problems. idk. I guess compared to their problems, mine seem smaller? And... I can't seem to really see how they would help in any way... >_<.
"Things aren't what they should be. Things aren't what you'd like them to be. Things aren't the way you would plan them if you were in charge. And so you become despairing and you become disturbed and the psalmist says, "Stop that and hope in God." Remember that God is your help. He is your help, he says, and your God. Our hope then comes from God. It is because God has made promises of care and concern and protection and guidance and direction and sustenance that we can trust Him for a better tomorrow."
ACK. >_< ty joe.
"Things aren't what they should be. Things aren't what you'd like them to be. Things aren't the way you would plan them if you were in charge. And so you become despairing and you become disturbed and the psalmist says, "Stop that and hope in God." Remember that God is your help. He is your help, he says, and your God. Our hope then comes from God. It is because God has made promises of care and concern and protection and guidance and direction and sustenance that we can trust Him for a better tomorrow."
ACK. >_< ty joe.
Monday, January 5, 2009
ONE;FIVE;OHNINE.
I'm not going to let this get to me. I won't. Don't worry. Just pray :).
Hmm... It's been five days into the new year and I still hadn't decided on what my resolutions should be so I thought about it a lot. I came up with two... three big ones... okay. more than that. -_-;;
ONE. Memorize at least 25 verses. I'm pretty sure I could do more but I know I'd forget over time... So let's just do 25 for now. I took one of my journals to school. the really small spiral one. yeah. I record random verses that I like in it and so I memorized one already. LOL. excellent way to pass time. 1 Thess. 5:16-18; Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is in God's will in Christ that you do this. I'm not sure which translation that is though... o_0. But I like that verse (: OH. and I got another one too :D. 1 Corinth. 4:20. God's kingdom is not just talk, it is power. AWSNAP. hehe :D:D:D. AREN'T YOU PROUD?? lol maybe those headshots worked after all. o_0
TWO. Finish reading the bible. Last year, I started to do this Bible reading plan and I read about... 3/4s? maybe a little less... idk. but I'd like to finish so that I can say that I've read the bible at least once. yeahyeahyeah! :D. good job, right? lolol I keep saying that.
THREE. raise them SAT scores! >____< no fun. no fun at all. my english is lacking... a LOT.
FOUR. yakety yak, DON'T TALK BACK. yeshhhh... and that also goes for not talking as much. I have a big mouth. -_-;;
lots more but they're small.
OHBOY. this whole past week. I've learned SOOO much about people. it's AMAZING. maybe, we're starting to open up... yeahyeahyeah! although... I'm the only one who has yet to share... -_-;; LOL. maybeee. God has something BIG in store... yeah, I could def. see that. (:
ompij. no contacts till FEBRUARY??!?! uhmuhnahhhhhh... >_<
Hmm... It's been five days into the new year and I still hadn't decided on what my resolutions should be so I thought about it a lot. I came up with two... three big ones... okay. more than that. -_-;;
ONE. Memorize at least 25 verses. I'm pretty sure I could do more but I know I'd forget over time... So let's just do 25 for now. I took one of my journals to school. the really small spiral one. yeah. I record random verses that I like in it and so I memorized one already. LOL. excellent way to pass time. 1 Thess. 5:16-18; Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is in God's will in Christ that you do this. I'm not sure which translation that is though... o_0. But I like that verse (: OH. and I got another one too :D. 1 Corinth. 4:20. God's kingdom is not just talk, it is power. AWSNAP. hehe :D:D:D. AREN'T YOU PROUD?? lol maybe those headshots worked after all. o_0
TWO. Finish reading the bible. Last year, I started to do this Bible reading plan and I read about... 3/4s? maybe a little less... idk. but I'd like to finish so that I can say that I've read the bible at least once. yeahyeahyeah! :D. good job, right? lolol I keep saying that.
THREE. raise them SAT scores! >____< no fun. no fun at all. my english is lacking... a LOT.
FOUR. yakety yak, DON'T TALK BACK. yeshhhh... and that also goes for not talking as much. I have a big mouth. -_-;;
lots more but they're small.
OHBOY. this whole past week. I've learned SOOO much about people. it's AMAZING. maybe, we're starting to open up... yeahyeahyeah! although... I'm the only one who has yet to share... -_-;; LOL. maybeee. God has something BIG in store... yeah, I could def. see that. (:
ompij. no contacts till FEBRUARY??!?! uhmuhnahhhhhh... >_<
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Andy's Journal.
I edited a LOT of it so it wouldn't sound as crappy and it's only a portion of it. I didn't want anything to be redundant and the more you read, the more retarded and depressing it gets -_-;;
sooo... here's 1/10000th of EVERYTHING. >_<
"010309 10:03 pm
...You know, I haven't really thought about this "absence" thing in a long time. I'm glad you reminded me. Isn't it scary? these days, I haven't been reading my bible and my prayers have become shorter and choppier. I know I'm selfish and all but I really hope you never get as far deep into this as I am. It's so frustrating. Like... You think the point you're at sucks? After a year and a half of this, nothing's new anymore. I would give anything to be where you are. Back then, I used to cry like crazy and such. Now? I don't seem to care anymore. It doesn't bother me. I've gotten used to it. I liked it so much better back then.
Let me explain. What if you just left. Blocked me from aim. Wasn't my fb friend. You didn't come to retreats. etcetcetc. Like there was no contact from you whatsoever. At first, I would like write you letters and call, asking what happened to you, right? But slowly, as time goes by, I would start to give up trying to contact you. You know? Thankfully, I'm not at the giving up point in my life and hopefully, I'll never will be. So where am I now? I'm getting to the point where I don't really care anymore. My letters and my phone calls to God are being more spaced out. Sometimes weeks and weeks pass between each call. Between each letter. And soon, I know that if I don't do anything, I know that months will start to replace the weeks. I don't want that to happen but then again, I didn't want anything to happen. I'm at the point where I see everything that's wrong and yet I pretend nothing's wrong. I continue to go on with my life. Even when I know that God's on the other end. Listening to the voice mails I left Him. Reading through all the letters that I wrote Him. Even though I'm well aware that He's there, I'm getting sick and tired of even trying because in the end, I know that what I do won't make a difference. He's not going to come back...
I pray that by the time you get this journal that you'd "get out of it." That everything would be back to the way it was for you except that your faith would come out stronger....I hope you never reach the point where you give up or even think about giving up. okay? Keep strong... okay. It's 10:55. Church tomorrow so I'll stop here. Goodnight, Pandy. (: "
the end. -_-;;
sooo... here's 1/10000th of EVERYTHING. >_<
"010309 10:03 pm
...You know, I haven't really thought about this "absence" thing in a long time. I'm glad you reminded me. Isn't it scary? these days, I haven't been reading my bible and my prayers have become shorter and choppier. I know I'm selfish and all but I really hope you never get as far deep into this as I am. It's so frustrating. Like... You think the point you're at sucks? After a year and a half of this, nothing's new anymore. I would give anything to be where you are. Back then, I used to cry like crazy and such. Now? I don't seem to care anymore. It doesn't bother me. I've gotten used to it. I liked it so much better back then.
Let me explain. What if you just left. Blocked me from aim. Wasn't my fb friend. You didn't come to retreats. etcetcetc. Like there was no contact from you whatsoever. At first, I would like write you letters and call, asking what happened to you, right? But slowly, as time goes by, I would start to give up trying to contact you. You know? Thankfully, I'm not at the giving up point in my life and hopefully, I'll never will be. So where am I now? I'm getting to the point where I don't really care anymore. My letters and my phone calls to God are being more spaced out. Sometimes weeks and weeks pass between each call. Between each letter. And soon, I know that if I don't do anything, I know that months will start to replace the weeks. I don't want that to happen but then again, I didn't want anything to happen. I'm at the point where I see everything that's wrong and yet I pretend nothing's wrong. I continue to go on with my life. Even when I know that God's on the other end. Listening to the voice mails I left Him. Reading through all the letters that I wrote Him. Even though I'm well aware that He's there, I'm getting sick and tired of even trying because in the end, I know that what I do won't make a difference. He's not going to come back...
I pray that by the time you get this journal that you'd "get out of it." That everything would be back to the way it was for you except that your faith would come out stronger....I hope you never reach the point where you give up or even think about giving up. okay? Keep strong... okay. It's 10:55. Church tomorrow so I'll stop here. Goodnight, Pandy. (: "
the end. -_-;;
Thursday, January 1, 2009
matthew west's "the motions"
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415,00.html
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life
BRIDGE
Every year our church gets these square papers with random scripture on it and usually, they're pretty accurate. this year's:
Psalms 4:1 "For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm of David. Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress: be merciful to me and hear my prayer."
but ahhhh... it's so dgoias;dgijasdifj.
Okay, so Bridge... Well, what I planned on doing was to write in my journal everynight before I went to bed but I only ended up writing for the first day. -_-;; Here's basically what I wrote in the journal, in my packet, and what I was thinking. >_<
dayone.
I hate how in retreats, there's no privacy. 16 people to one shower. -___________-;; Joe's my daddy again! lol... i feel like I'm disappointing him... I don't speak at all... I thought I got over that problem but I still can't talk about my opinions. When people ask me what I think about spiritual stuff I just say "skip". >_<. the chairs were squishing me. no room to clap... so much munjee in here, it's so gross. I think I came to this retreat because... I haven't been doing qt in so long... I haven't set aside time to do anything... I just pray... and now, even praying has become like a chore. no 100%. and even when I do pray, it's all the same thing. I pray the same thing every day. So since I'm at a retreat, you know, it's all about God, it kind of forces me to pray... I hope God will be able to provide me w/direction this retreat. and that I won't be so distracted. I don't want to care about others so much. I don't want to care about what they think... why is that so hard?? desensitized. Joe said that word today. I wonder if it's just because I've heard these things over and over again for like 15 years... but even so, I don't think that's it. I've just become so numb...? as Slick was talking about the Gospel... People get so excited about it... it's almost like i don't care. Like it's almost expected.
daytwo.
"Sin always keeps you farther than you want to go.
Sin keeps you longer than you want to stay.
Sin losts you more than you want to pay."
... the last one doesn't make sense but i forget what he said...sin makes you pay more than you want to pay? -_-;;
"temporary gain for eternal loss; eternal gain for temporary loss"
i liked this sermon. it was really o_o.
seminar 2: it was boring... our whole section had to pee so bad but the bathroom was so far away and we would have to go through everyone to go so we just sat there... "faith growing is an everyday kind of thing" i forget what else happened that day.
daythree/four.
ahhhhh. we talked to Pastor IJ. I wanted to talk to him but he left and then he came back but then there were so many people around... it reminded me of Pastor Q or however you spell it... i remember during the retreat he pulled me to the side and was like, can i pray for you? and he started asking me questions... like, are you really a christian? etc. and then him, his daughter, and other people that were with him circled me and started praying. it was so random. i wish i could ask him some questions... like why did he do that? because it was right after that i started to feel the absence... I think it was the third day during prayer that i realized that I say I'm a christian but I fall so much... does that mean while I "fall", I'm not a christian anymore? I just kept pushing everything away without realizing it. I don't want to do that anymore... i liked the joe, andy, me group. i like talking like that. although i didn't say much... and then everybody left me -_-;;. then hawon and peter were talking to me. about my future and stuff. hawon was saying how he was sensing fear/concern in me... o_0. i don't think i am/was. but he also said i was the type that gets really attached. like... i won't like anybody but when i do, im going to find someone and then if that relationship gets broken, it would hurt me a lot more..? i don't really remember that much. but i was like 0_0. that's good, right?... except the last part. if they don't like me as much. 0__________0. but i don't think that's just for guys. i think it's for me, every relationship. i get really attached to select people and then i get hurt because im not as attached as they are. -_-;; and then petey said other stuff like don't fall for the wrong guy. and that scared me even more because i thought he was saying that to me for a reason. but then he said it was something every girl should hear. and then i was okay again. i think when it comes to guys, im okay. i've been told i have high standards and im picky. LOLLLLL. that's good though, right? but the problem is, that when i do like someone, i think about them 24/7. it's so annoying. like hawon said, i get really attached. i hate it. speaking of guys, this was the first retreat that i didn't "like" anybody. i think it's because there's such a lacking of korean guys here but i get so "overwhelmed" by the korean people at retreats... and they all claim to be christian too. so im just like o_o. LOLLLLLLL. im so retarded. but seriously... and then since it happens at retreats... most people GO for the wrong reasons but i go for with the 'right' intentions and then i get distracted while im there. i fail. but this time i didn't. i was so happy :D. but aghhhh. i know retreat highs aren't good. but i don't get them anymore. i would do anything to get it... i want that "selflessness" that he was talking about. unselfishness? idk. but i want it. i get jealous a lot. this whole retreat. i was like SOFGH;DSFJ. i hateeeeeeeeeee it. i want others to be blessed. and i say that i want them to be blessed x10 more than me. but then i get jealous. you know? like what about me? where are my blessings? why is God blessing others more? i get so jealous. and not just with this. during the joe andy me thing... my biggest flaw i think... or one of them is jealousy. i think it also ties in with the getting attached thing. sdg;asiodldfj. but at the retreat. some church people and i was just so... dsiogh;asidjf. here i am. struggling so much. even right now, im just raging w/jealousy. and... gah. i hate this. and i hate how i hate this too.
i woke up at 5:00. -_-;; i didn't take a shower for 2 days. that's the max. o_o. i was smelly and greasy.
i have ten journals now. 0_0. major hand cramps. before i go to sleep, i shall update. i have much to say to some people.
blogs are supposed to make things clearer. mine make no sense and i find so many things out when i write them that they make me even more confused and frustrated. -_-;;
Psalms 4:1 "For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm of David. Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress: be merciful to me and hear my prayer."
but ahhhh... it's so dgoias;dgijasdifj.
Okay, so Bridge... Well, what I planned on doing was to write in my journal everynight before I went to bed but I only ended up writing for the first day. -_-;; Here's basically what I wrote in the journal, in my packet, and what I was thinking. >_<
dayone.
I hate how in retreats, there's no privacy. 16 people to one shower. -___________-;; Joe's my daddy again! lol... i feel like I'm disappointing him... I don't speak at all... I thought I got over that problem but I still can't talk about my opinions. When people ask me what I think about spiritual stuff I just say "skip". >_<. the chairs were squishing me. no room to clap... so much munjee in here, it's so gross. I think I came to this retreat because... I haven't been doing qt in so long... I haven't set aside time to do anything... I just pray... and now, even praying has become like a chore. no 100%. and even when I do pray, it's all the same thing. I pray the same thing every day. So since I'm at a retreat, you know, it's all about God, it kind of forces me to pray... I hope God will be able to provide me w/direction this retreat. and that I won't be so distracted. I don't want to care about others so much. I don't want to care about what they think... why is that so hard?? desensitized. Joe said that word today. I wonder if it's just because I've heard these things over and over again for like 15 years... but even so, I don't think that's it. I've just become so numb...? as Slick was talking about the Gospel... People get so excited about it... it's almost like i don't care. Like it's almost expected.
daytwo.
"Sin always keeps you farther than you want to go.
Sin keeps you longer than you want to stay.
Sin losts you more than you want to pay."
... the last one doesn't make sense but i forget what he said...sin makes you pay more than you want to pay? -_-;;
"temporary gain for eternal loss; eternal gain for temporary loss"
i liked this sermon. it was really o_o.
seminar 2: it was boring... our whole section had to pee so bad but the bathroom was so far away and we would have to go through everyone to go so we just sat there... "faith growing is an everyday kind of thing" i forget what else happened that day.
daythree/four.
ahhhhh. we talked to Pastor IJ. I wanted to talk to him but he left and then he came back but then there were so many people around... it reminded me of Pastor Q or however you spell it... i remember during the retreat he pulled me to the side and was like, can i pray for you? and he started asking me questions... like, are you really a christian? etc. and then him, his daughter, and other people that were with him circled me and started praying. it was so random. i wish i could ask him some questions... like why did he do that? because it was right after that i started to feel the absence... I think it was the third day during prayer that i realized that I say I'm a christian but I fall so much... does that mean while I "fall", I'm not a christian anymore? I just kept pushing everything away without realizing it. I don't want to do that anymore... i liked the joe, andy, me group. i like talking like that. although i didn't say much... and then everybody left me -_-;;. then hawon and peter were talking to me. about my future and stuff. hawon was saying how he was sensing fear/concern in me... o_0. i don't think i am/was. but he also said i was the type that gets really attached. like... i won't like anybody but when i do, im going to find someone and then if that relationship gets broken, it would hurt me a lot more..? i don't really remember that much. but i was like 0_0. that's good, right?... except the last part. if they don't like me as much. 0__________0. but i don't think that's just for guys. i think it's for me, every relationship. i get really attached to select people and then i get hurt because im not as attached as they are. -_-;; and then petey said other stuff like don't fall for the wrong guy. and that scared me even more because i thought he was saying that to me for a reason. but then he said it was something every girl should hear. and then i was okay again. i think when it comes to guys, im okay. i've been told i have high standards and im picky. LOLLLLL. that's good though, right? but the problem is, that when i do like someone, i think about them 24/7. it's so annoying. like hawon said, i get really attached. i hate it. speaking of guys, this was the first retreat that i didn't "like" anybody. i think it's because there's such a lacking of korean guys here but i get so "overwhelmed" by the korean people at retreats... and they all claim to be christian too. so im just like o_o. LOLLLLLLL. im so retarded. but seriously... and then since it happens at retreats... most people GO for the wrong reasons but i go for with the 'right' intentions and then i get distracted while im there. i fail. but this time i didn't. i was so happy :D. but aghhhh. i know retreat highs aren't good. but i don't get them anymore. i would do anything to get it... i want that "selflessness" that he was talking about. unselfishness? idk. but i want it. i get jealous a lot. this whole retreat. i was like SOFGH;DSFJ. i hateeeeeeeeeee it. i want others to be blessed. and i say that i want them to be blessed x10 more than me. but then i get jealous. you know? like what about me? where are my blessings? why is God blessing others more? i get so jealous. and not just with this. during the joe andy me thing... my biggest flaw i think... or one of them is jealousy. i think it also ties in with the getting attached thing. sdg;asiodldfj. but at the retreat. some church people and i was just so... dsiogh;asidjf. here i am. struggling so much. even right now, im just raging w/jealousy. and... gah. i hate this. and i hate how i hate this too.
i woke up at 5:00. -_-;; i didn't take a shower for 2 days. that's the max. o_o. i was smelly and greasy.
i have ten journals now. 0_0. major hand cramps. before i go to sleep, i shall update. i have much to say to some people.
blogs are supposed to make things clearer. mine make no sense and i find so many things out when i write them that they make me even more confused and frustrated. -_-;;
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