16days...

So yesterday, I went to my first golf lesson. >______<. I expected that it would mainly be teens... i was SO wrong... i was by FAR the youngest... everyone was 50+ than me. >_<. lol but w/e. it was kind of weird though. but my arm is really sore. D:
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I'm not as depressed as I usually am... so weird... the days are decent... It's kind of weird how when the end seems closer, everything else becomes better? I don't know if that makes sense. But now that everything could disappear soon, I'm enjoying things a bit more... weeeeird.
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why am i getting so needy?! T_T;; blah. i hate texting now. it makes me sooo sad and depressed when people don't answer right away, if the response is too short, or if they don't answer at all. when im talking in school and someone cuts me off or if the person i'm talking to is looking elsewhere, i get so sad... T_______T;; WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! I've always been needy but not to this extent...

all my grades are dropping... >_<
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i'm going to be wangda at sixflags... I HATE roller coasters... even little baby ones scare the bejeebers out of me. but i don't mind them as much. everyone's going to be going on the big ones and im going to be on the floor looking and them going round and round in circles... >_<.
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there was some byuntae in the Y's gym today. D:
CREEEEEEEEEEEPER. he was like, "smile, you're pretty" or something... what the heck... and then i was like what?? and i looked around and he was gone. :O! my last (and first) creeper experienc was in the library like in middle school. D: i was so scared i ran out of there and my mom was like, why don't you have any books? T___________T;; haven't been there since. haha jk. but seriously. that experience scarred me for life. -_-.
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IDA!
OKAY. will someone please give me an explanation behind this madness?!??
go google it if you don't know what i'm talking about.
supposedly the missing link? but it looks nothing like a human or monkey/gorilla so i don't get it -_-.
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I tried to do prayer cycle like ND does. but it's not working... I'm so fed up with some people that I don't want to pray for them. It's like, NO. you don't deserve my prayer. LOL. -_-. im so stupid. and I know I shouldn't do that. Because they're the ones that need it most, right? but I'm so blahh. I don't want to. So I end up not praying for church people and school people... I'm so horrible...
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And also, 7th day adventists... I don't get it... Is everything basically the same except they go to church on saturdays and not sundays? I asked my mom one of questions i ask a lot to joe :D: do they go to heaven? :D. lol. and my mom was like, no. o_0? but she didn't say why. she just said, go ask your dad -_______________-. i mean, if it's just that they go to church on different days then i don't see what the big deal is... but my mom was like, if you play a game and you break all the rules, does it really count? LOL what the heck... idk. my parents can be really weird sometimes. but then again, there could be things different.
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In the beginning of my school notebooks, i wrote down:
Do your work willingly, as though you were serving the Lord himself, and not just your earthly master colossians 3:23.
As kind of like a reminder for me not to slack off in school. >_<. and today I realized how as the school-year goes on, you don't really ever even open up the first flap -_-. so i kind of forgot about it. lol. and I really don't try... so it was useless -________-. Two of my teachers saw what i wrote and they were like, it's cool that you have that blahblahblah. good work ethic... blahhhhh... and i feel bad... 'Cause I'm really not trying to do anything... The past two days, I left my homework at school so I rushed to get it all done in school. I had a test on monday but I couldn't find my notes (they were in my locker). My current event was due and I completely forgot so during 2nd period I was excused from class and went to print one out and I finished it during 3rd period... I had to copy down vocab words last night and I accidentally copied down the wrong chapter of words. and not only that but I left my notebook in class so I couldn't finish the rest of them the next day so I had to copy from another person. I didn't pay attention in math class so I had some kid in homeroom do my math homework for me. I'm falling apart....... I almost want to rip the words out of the notebooks. I feel like a hypocrite... I hate hypocrites... BSOIDFNASDIFJASOUIDJHFSOU.