general update: yay :)! today was a half day but the schedule was like: 4th pd, 6th pd, lunch, 5th pd... but most likely, we would watch a movie in 5th, and lunch was at 10:15 for me so i just asked my mom to pick me up at ten. LOL. and last night, when i asked, she was like NO. and then I asked like 50 more times and then it changed to an 'I'll think about it' then this morning she was like 'I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN. THIS IS THE LAST TIME.' LOL SUCCESS! but in my defense, it was the ONLY time I've ever done that. Today I took History and Business Exams. Business was so easy. I hate that class... it's so hot in there 'cause of all the computers and it's so easy >_<. and then History... BAHHHH. i think that was the hardest one...? or maybe Bio. test was harder... idk. I think I got at least a B and in Bio., I think I got at least a C... not good -__-;;...
Okay. So currently, I am grounded. LOLLL. which is really funny because my mom was looking at me go on the computer and she just turned away. LOLLLLLLL. but I don't think she's forgotten. my mom has AMAZING memory... unlike me. -_-;; I think she's just letting me go because my exams are done :)... today, after I got home from school, I tried to go to sleep on my brother's bed but I couldn't. I can't take naps. So then, I got up and I baked cookies. :D. it was the first time ever that I didn't burn them. However, the bottom row isn't really baked all the way I think. ehh;; And I think there was something wrong with the egg but I didn't see it until I mixed it all in so I might get food poisoning... LOLLLL yay! a first! -_-;; I'm going to get so fat. thirty two peanut butter cookies... o________o;;
ohmypij. My dad... ohhhhhh boy. He uninstalled my aim... and I asked him why he kept doing these things... because before, when I was uploading or installing something, He would like X out of them... He said it was because the aim log in box pops up everytime you turn on the computer. he was like, I didn't know it was yours... Only me and my dad use the computer... WHOSE ELSE WOULD IT BE?? -_-;; LOL. I wasn't mad or anything but it's kind of annoying. I don't randomly uninstall anything of his EVEN THOUGH there are like BAJILLIONS of things of his that pop up on the computer. oh boyyyy.
spiritual update:
Hmm... I'm so glad that I have a four day weekend. Lately, things have been happening and I haven't really had the time to process everything. My mind is like blahhhh. a bunch of things just floating around... So many things I'm so unsure about... My future's so blurry... On a better note, I've been reading the bible a lot lately. On Tuesday, I read for an hour and yesterday, I read for like... TWO hours. :D. I was flipping through my spiral journal and I was looking through all of these verses and I was like 'o____o' by some of them. It's really weird. no matter how many times you might read the bible, new things will ALWAYS catch your eye. And like, so many verses I've already read before, I completely forgot about them... Anyways, It seems that the more I read the bible, the more and more I want to keep going. Like, I look forward to it more. It's no longer something I do because I feel like I should. It's become something I want to do :)...
Lately, I've become so insecure about my faith. Why is it that everything's becoming so numb? If I were to die right now, where would I go?... I wish I was some murderer of a druggie or something. Sometimes, I wish I was born into an atheistic family and THEN come to know Christ. That way, I wouldn't feel so used to everything. I wish I truly understood everything that God's done and continues to do for me. I wish I could truly appreciate everything. You know those lyrics?: "the simplest of all love songs, I want to bring to You. So I'll let my words be few. Jesus I am so in love with you." I wish I could sing those lyrics and really mean them. -_-;;
Yesterday I started to change the way I wrote in my journal again. Instead of writing before I read the bible or whatever, I wrote WHILE I was writing. It was really different :).
a bit of last night's entry:
011609. 6:50 pm.
Why is it that I ask to be used by you and then I shy away at the simplest of things? Like how in class, someone asks to use my pen for a second and then I'm so suddenly aware of how it says, "Student for Christ" or how when I took a friend to school, I was so aware of the christian radio station that was playing. Is that just me? Or when I'm humming Hosanna and someone asks me what song I'm humming to... I just ignore them. Why is it that I do these things? I don't think I'm embarrassed... or is it? "I am not ashamed of the Good News. It is God's power to save everyone who believes" (romans 1:16). ... GAH... I'm lacking in so many areas... ahhhhhhh....
other spiritual randomness:
I wish I had stronger faith. But how does that happen? -______-;;
"Actually, since a couple days ago, I've been reading the Bible a LOT.. I went through a period where I just didn't feel like even picking it up.. but ever since a couple days ago, I just want to read more and more... It's like I'm starving and it's my food." ahhhhhhhh. I'm glad I met her. :). YAY FH! LOL. but yeah. that's how I'm feeling right now. :). but still, im not "feeling" much. but i'm not going to focus on that anymore. (;
I used to have a girl on my necklace. my birthstone was shaped like her dress. it sat right next to my cross... and I took it off. LOLLLLL. maybe I'm just being a little ridiculous right now but it just freaked me outtt. the whole "putting myself into the picture"... "taking the spotlight off of God"... "pushing God out of the focus"... oh boy. idk. it just... i was just... BLAH. and I noticed the girl... I just never felt like taking her off of my necklace. but i stopped being lazy and took her off last night :). idk... LOL. im so retarded. (:
AMAZING verses:
"Look among the nations and watch. Be UTTERLY AMAZED. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe even if I told you" (Habakkuk 1:5).
"Even if the fig tree does not bloom and the vines have no grapes, even if the olive tree fails to produce and the fields yield no food, even if the sheep pen is empty and the stalls have no cattle- even then, I will be happy with the LORD. I will truly find joy in God, who saves me" (habakkuk 3:17/18).
ahhhhh. I like Habakkuk. it's like a Q&A session with God. OH BOY. if only I could do that... Habakkuk's name means "to fold one's hands" or "to embrace" :). ahhh. I wish my faith were as strong. TRULY find joy in God. I keep saying things. things that I wish I meant but don't really. empty words. empty promises. I don't want to. saifjosdfims.
questions from reading:
->are angels christians?
->i thought there couldn't be any sin in heaven... what about lucifer?
->doesn't the bible say we sin like ALL THE TIME? even every second? what is it that we do? o_0
-> matthew 16:20 says: "then He warned His disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ." ... why would he do that? wouldn't He want them to know? o_0;;
random randomness:
ahhhhhhh. who knows where I'll be six months from now... future's so blahhhhh. I pray that whatever happens will be in God's will and that everything will end up being for the best...
random comment on random post:
Everything I've written is a bunch of random crap all squished together. -_- this is what I get for being too lazy to split this up into different posts.
Take me,
Break me,
Mold me,
&Make me
to be all that you want me to be.
I am YOURS...
i wish... FAITH. gahhhhhhh. dughskdfjs.
pray for my fast tomorrow, please. :).
-->
Ps. LOL Andy. this is what you get for telling me to update... a REALLY REALLY LONG and confusing, hard to follow post. oh. and I have one page left in your notebook. when mckbc comes around, I BETTER NOT GET SOME SKIMPY LITTLE HALF FILLED NOTEBOOK FROM YOU. -_-;;. &JOE... wait till you're 25. OKAY? :D! ahhhhaha. i love you guys (:
dangit. now i have to go and install a new aim. i hate installing new aim because it's never the same as the last one you installed and then you get all confused and it takes awhile to get used to. D:
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
hahaha i love this post :D its so much like mine, ramdom blurts of brain thoughts :D
just some comments:
its so amazing how you're starting to pick up the bible again :D remember, its not the bible in itself that brings you closer to Him, but God who draws you nearer to Him.
it really is hard to be 'unashamed of the gospel.' I have a hard time too... but i think that as the gospel and God becomes BIGGER in our lives we get more and more confident in Him... praying for you :D
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
other spiritual randomness:
I wish I had stronger faith. But how does that happen? -______-;;
--- this happens ONLY through the grace of God. I keep telling you, there is nothing that you yourself can do to get closer to God. We only have sinfulness. It's only THROUGH the Holy Spirit working within us that the Spirit brings us stronger faith.
just a few verses that come to mind:
WORD OF GOD
Romans 10:17
"So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ."
2 Timothy 3:16
"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,"
--- when we get into the Word, we familiarize ourselves with the word of God, which helps us to grow in knowledge, grow in righteousness, and grow in faith.
PRAYER
Luke 11
9And I tell you,(L) ask, and(M) it will be given to you;(N) seek, and you will find;(O) knock, and it will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 11What father among you, if his son asks for[d] a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; 12or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13If you then,(P) who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father(Q) give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"
---keep asking! (read the part right before this its pretty funny hehe) but yeah the Father loves to give us what we ask, especially when its within His will.
WALKING/PERSEVERING
Galatians 5
22But(AM) the fruit of the Spirit is(AN) love, joy, peace, patience,(AO) kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23(AP) gentleness,(AQ) self-control;(AR) against such things there is no law. 24And those who belong to Christ Jesus(AS) have crucified the flesh with its(AT) passions and desires.
25If we live by the Spirit,(AU) let us also walk by the Spirit.
---its all about the walk! as we continue to walk with the Lord, (through all of the struggles, the dry times, the happy times, ALL the TIME) the Spirit continues to bear fruit within our lives, which ultimately builds our faith as well.
1 John 1
But(R) if we walk in the light,(S) as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and(T) the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
---if we CONTINUE to walk with the Lord, then He gives us fellowship to strengthen one another and purity and righteousness from Christ.
Romans 5
1(A) Therefore, since we have been justified by faith,(B) we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2Through him we have also(C) obtained access by faith[b] into this grace(D) in which we stand, and(E) we[c] rejoice[d] in hope of the glory of God. 3More than that, we(F) rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering(G) produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and(H) hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love(I) has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
---when we PERSEVERE and ENDURE even through sufferings, it produces in us character of Christ and hope in Christ. Hope is our faith in the future things to come. The hope that we have affects our life by making us joyful in all circumstances and unafraid of the things in this world.
1 Thess 5
16(Z) Rejoice always, 17(AA) pray without ceasing, 18(AB) give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
23Now may(AF) the God of peace himself(AG) sanctify you completely, and may your(AH) whole(AI) spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at(AJ) the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24(AK) He who calls you is faithful;(AL) he will surely do it.
---if we continue to rejoice always, pray, and give thanks in ALL circumstances (even when things seem dry and dull) God will sanctify you (that means He will make you into His image). the best part tho, is His promise at the end. HE WILL SURELY DO IT! thats what the christian life is all about, is growing in our faith as we continually walk and obey Him. :D
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i love those verses that you brought up especially the UTTERLY AMAZED verse :D
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
questions from reading:
->are angels christians?
well angels are creations of God. You can't really call them Christians i think because unlike us, angels don't experience Grace. Jesus Christ didn't die for Angels, only us humans, so i would have to say not really.
->i thought there couldn't be any sin in heaven... what about lucifer?
Just as we had the choice to rebel against God, lucifer had that choice to. THats why luciefer could not REMAIN in heaven right? because he rebelled against God just like us. The difference is that angels don't get a second chance like us.
->doesn't the bible say we sin like ALL THE TIME? even every second? what is it that we do? o_0
:D i like this question... it is true that we sin ALL THE TIME. Even when we're not exactly DOING anything that breaks the law, we still sin in our hearts. This is what the Bible says even about Christians:
Isaiah 29
13And the Lord said:"Because(A) this people(B) draw near with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
while their hearts are far from me,
and their fear of me is a commandment taught by men,
Mark 7:6
6And he said to them, "Well did Isaiah prophesy of you(A) hypocrites, as it is written,
(B) "'This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
Mark 7:7
7in vain do they worship me,
teaching as(A) doctrines the commandments of men.'
Ezekiel 33:31
31(A) And they come to you as people come, and they sit before you as my people, and they hear what you say but they will not do it; for(B) with lustful talk in their mouths they act; their heart is set on their gain.
these are just the few examples. Even us Christians who claim to worship God rebel and sin against Him with our hearts. By nature we are selfish beings, always thinking about ourselves and not God right? thats the beautiful thing tho, is that the Spirit within us allows us to not sin. The Spirit within us intercedes for us and is powerful in our lives, keeping us from sin. So yeah i would say that non-children of God definitely sin ALL THE TIME because they know nothing else. We as Christians are still rebellious at heart, but God is killing that sinfulness in us each day.
-> matthew 16:20 says: "then He warned His disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ." ... why would he do that? wouldn't He want them to know? o_0;;
Jesus had a time that each thing was to be revealed. Otherwise why didn't Jesus just go into ministry when He was 20 years old instead of 30? It was just in His time. He knows best, even when we feel otherwise
hehe so yeah i took your long confusing post and one-upped it to create an even longer even more confusing comment :D i just get so excited when i see you growing and i get carried away... sorry ;) take it for what its worth i guess
Post a Comment