SELAH

I've said this before but there's EVEN MORE that I've learned in the past few days... past HOURS even. There's so much suffering going on. So much pain, so much struggling... And it's all behind closed doors. We all put on this mask. We aren't sharing, we aren't telling. But isn't that what a church is? Not just a building. I can list at least four or five people going through so much in our youth group. And considering how our church is small, four/five people is a LOT. It's just so weird. We know each other so well and then at the same time, we're strangers to one another. IDK. I guess I'd be a hypocrite writing all of these things considering... >_< LOL. I hate hypocrites. -_-;;

"It grows big
bu he
is small
although
big things
are happening inside."

I've been reading again lately :). Every tuesday and whenever I have time left over. I've read 1,2,&3 John+Jude+Hosea and I plan to beat steve in reading the gospels+Acts AHAHAHA. lol :D. but... it seems like, STILL, nothings happening. I didn't expect anything to happen but it's still a bit disappointing... OHWELL. >_<
psalm 77:
1 I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. 2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted. 3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint. 4 You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak. 5 I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; 6 I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired: 7 "Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? 8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? 9 Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?" SELAH 10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High." 11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. 12 I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. 13 Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? 14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples 15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. SELAH 16 The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed. 17 The clouds poured down water, the skies resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth. 18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked. 19 Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen. 20 You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

I just googled and SELAH means "stop and listen". my new favorite word :).I wonder what happened to David. what happened in the end? did it ever stop? how long? o_o;; w/e. it doesn't REALLY matter, does it? i don't think so. like the verse says, "whatever happens, give thanks. because it is in God's will in Christ that you do this" (<- God's Word translation. not The Message :)). but I know it's selfish, but I'm glad David suffered. I can find some kind of hope in reading about his struggles. I hope someone can find hope in my struggles as well so they don't go wasted. >_<. I don't want useless struggling. but RAHRAHRAH. I know, I know. they weren't exactly wasted but still. ahhaaha. I'm beginning to talk to myself. >_<